A Happi Time
by Granoc
Summary: The summon reflects the summoner.What would one think about Louise when she summons this particular familiar?
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Life sucked,Happosai thought,groaning weakly in the hollow cratter that was his current resting place.

Bad enough that he had spent the last 15 years burried in a cave by his two worthless students. Finally breaking out and tracking them down only to discover Soun Tendo's lovely daughters and his dear Ranma-chan should have been a definite sign that things were looking up!After all an old man should be able to spend his declining years resting in the bussoms of such lovely girls!

Alas though it was not to be.

Somehow Genma had managed to raise the most troublesome punk of a son!  
Not only Ranma had the gal to disrespect his elders by denying the Grandmaster of his school his rightful place in his female forms bussom, He actually had the skill to fend of the old pervert's...Er respectable elders advances!

And to add insult to injury he had taken it upon himself to spoil an innocent old mans simple pleasures! He actually kept him away from his silky darlings!

Inconcievable!Unforgivable!

One such occasion has led him to his current predicament. While out liberating his silky darlings and having abit of harmless fun the young punk caught up with him just as he was exiting a public bathouse. Off course he avoided the whelps strikes but then he targeted the bag with his silky treasures!

The rest was history. The angry women caught up with him and proceeded to vent on his poor self their wickedness! How unfair can the world get!

Those were the thoughts of Grandmaster Happosai,Martial Artist Supreme and the biggest pervert Asia had seen in 500 years when a green ovoid fell upon him and took him away from the face of Nerima and Earth possibly for ever.

After what felt to his trained senses an eternity wrapped in a moment he was deposited on soft ground facing an impossibly blue sky.

"What happened" he wondered aloud.

Quickly comming to his feet the old pervert came face to face with a girl.  
Wavy pink hair framed a lovely face with large blue eyes. the girl looked to be 12 at the most but the old pervert had met alot of women in his long life and knew that she was older than that.

"What is this" she screamed "My familiar is supposed to be a shrunken muppet?"

"This is rich Zero! Only you could summon an old gizzer in his last legs as your familiar!" Heard Happosai someone shout. There was a great round of laughter by the assembled whelps at that which caused the pink haired girl to lower her head in shame.

Now let it be noticed that being mocked like that by a bunch of punks would have normally sent Happosai in a towering rage like no other. Normally that is.

Happosai had done alot of things in his 300 year+life. He has learned martial arts of course,liberated countless silky darlings,stolen whatever caught his fancy, he has even killed in those few cases that he had come across opponents simply to strong or willy to evade or simply disable.  
But the one thing that had caused him the most grief and also given him his greatest rewards was magic.

While not a mage himself he had scoured all of Asia for magic lore and magical items. He had summoned demons from the deeps,Great Onis from the places where such creatures had retreated. He has bartered with elementals and dalied with kitsune and yuki ona. He had even stolen from the legendary Chinese Amazons a feat no other man alive could boast to have done.  
And in all his long years he had never come across a magical gathering such as this.

The girl in front of him was like a sun in his senses. No not a sun rather an all consuming nothingness that he had never met before. The rest of the assembled crowd was nothing to sneeze at either but none could hold a candle at her.

In the meanwhile the crowd around them kept mocking her.

"Louise the Zero indeed! Can't even summon a proper familiar!"

"Worthless as always aren't you Zero? At least nothing exploded this time!"

Through all this the girl -Louise- started shaking in barely supressed anger until a tall balding man in a cape stepped forward trying to restore order.

"Enough" he barked "Miss Valliere please complete the ritual!"

That seemed to snap the girl out of her funk.

"But Professor Colbert this can't be my familiar! Please you have to let me try again!' she begged.

"Sorry but that is impossible miss Familiar Summoning Ceremony is a sacred right it cannot be undertaken a second time. Please finish it now"

Head slumping Louise turned to Happosai who was standing frozen within the magic circle and tapped her wand once on his bald head and chanted.

"My name is Louise Franηoise Le Blanc de La Valliθre. Pentagon of the Five Elemental Powers; bless this humble being, and make him my familiar."

Happosai watched helplessly as Louise chanted over and over again. He had been summoned and was in the process of being bound by this hideously powerful mage in front of him!  
He gathered all his might trying to break free of the paralysis that had bound him from the moment he got up but to no avail.

Finishing the chant for the last time Louise gave him a sort peck grimacing in distaste.

Happosai would have apreciated the gesture and used the chance to recharge his ki reserves if not for the BLINDING,UBEARABLE WHITE-HOT PAIN  
that centered on his arm.

Finally able to move the old perv looked at his arm where unknown runes glowed green for a moment and finally settled to an unfamiliar array.

"Yeoch!" He screamed jumping back "What the hell was that all about!"

Louise stomped a foot down and glared at him "What do you think it was you stupid familiar" she demanded "Our contract is complete! You are now my familiar! Be grateful and stop screaming!"

THAT WAS IT! Magical powerhouse or not depleted ki or not he had enough!  
He was Happosai! Grandmaster of the most powerful form of martial arts! Libarator of silky darlings! No whelp would talk to him like that damn the concequenses!

"Listen here you...!" That was all he was able to get out before being interupted yet again.

"My my is there no end to your incompetence Louise the Zero! Summoning an ugly gnome like him for a familiar? How discraceful!"

Luise gritted her teeth and turned to her tormentor "Listen Zerbst! Why dont you crawl back to whatever hole you crawled out from!" She turned to her familiar to order him away only to stop on her tracks.

Happosai caught sight of the leggy luscious redhead and froze for a long, gaping stare. It was one of his most cherished dreams, come to life before his very eyes. Filled with inexpressible emotion, Happosai shed a single happy tear.

"Sweeeeeeeet-O!" Happosai launched himself, ignoring everything else for the first time since he came in this crappy world.

Louise gaped, torn between sniggering and screaming at the screams and explosions in front of her.

Kirche along with every other girl in range stiffened at the sudden breeze that passed through them carrying away their undergarments like an errant wind carries the leaves in autumn.  
A blond girl in curls screamed in embarassement and outrage " Ugh. UGH! Get the shrunken little troll get him get him!" She laid down a barrage of water missiles at the horrible little man to no affect. He simply danced around them like they were nothing at all!

" WOOOO-HOOOO! What a haul!" Happosai was delighted by this wonderful find. Female battle aura abounded. Finally after so many indignities he was hugely energized.

A fireball came at him from a random direction but he deflacted it using his pipe lighting it in the proccess."Yahooo,thanks ladies!"

"Pretty Ladies! Oh, come to poppa!" Happosai paused to rest between Kirche's breasts, the best ones there.

Shrieking, a panic stricken Kirche tried to get rid of the horrible little troll but was hit by a dozen attacks coming from outraged females all around her.

And while the mayhem continued Louise fell on her knees not believing what was happening before her eyes while wondering what in the world had she summoned...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter one

Louise Franηoise Le Blanc de La Valliere was pacing furiously in her room.  
The most disastrous day so far in her young life had finally come to an end and she simply didnt know what to do!

On one hand she had been able to succesfully complete the most important ceremony in a mages career. She had succesfully summoned a familiar! Even if that familiar was at first glance an extremely old and shrunken old man she had been succesful at summoning and contracting him.

But then the entire thing had been turned upside down on its head!  
First the vicious taunts and derogatorry remarks by her fellow students especially that top heavy slut Kirche Zerbst, so eager to belittle and humiliate her.

And then...Then the vicious and equally humiliating attack from her familiar against those same students.

She could still see it all in her minds eye.

The girls topless and pantyless running panicked like headless chickens launching furious attacks in an effort to tag the little...troll? imp? demon? whatever her familiar was.

Kirche pummeled by those very same attacks, Monmorency summoning a huge wave trying to crush the little pervert even the usually quiet and emotionless Tabitha trying to freeze him in place all of it to no avail!

Her familiar had been like the wind itself dodging and deflecting attacks back front and center. Well a perverted wind but impressive nontheless!

And lets not forget the blood that litered the field of the importu battle.  
Blood not from injuries attained by the magical attacks flying all over the place but by the massive nosebleeds the boys suffered especially when Kirche litterally popped out of her clothes as a result of the little trolls theft of her underclothes and the followup attacks by panicked females hitting her and shredding what passed as clothing for her.

Even the usually unflapable professor Colbert had a small trail of blood making its way down his nose!

The aftermath had been equally daunting.

At some point in all the chaos her familiar had dissapeared leaving her holding the bag so to speak but she had been spared the worse by the mad scramble to return to the Academy and find clothes for the females and get the males to the infirmary to treat the massive blood loss.

As a result the remaining students had all been dismissed to their rooms for the remainder of the day while the teaching stuff tried to sort out the mess.

And so here she was fretting her night away trying to sort out her feelings and think of what to do next.

Her familiar was missing,her fellow students would be certain to blame her for what happened and no dought the headmaster would have words for her as well.

It wasn't fair!

it wasnt her fault the vicious little troll attacked and humiliated them! No matter how much they deserved it...

No! NO! Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts!

Noone deserved what happened even if they we such hateful rummormongering skunks...

NO! NO! even worse thoughts!

But what worried her the most was that deeply burried part of her that found the carnage her familiar caused to be nothing more than the other students just deserves.

Ever since she had joined the Tristain Academy of magic she had been bullied and bellitled by the very same people.

.A Zero.

Those words had been her constant companion all these years.

And now this!

Everyone knew that the familiar reflects the masters will and aptittude. Was there a chance that she had caused the whole sordid afair?It was not possible right? right!

So deep was she absorbed in her thoughts that she failed to notice the other presence in her room.

"Woah! You seem rather deep in thought there girlie!"

Louise turned to the voice her heart on her mouth from fright.

There he was the vicious little troll she had summoned,smoking a pipe without a care in the world!

"YOU" she yelled pointing "where were you! How did you come here? Do you have any idea what you have done!"

"Whoa there girl lets take it from the beggining." he said drowing a long a long puff from his pipe.

"First things first. My name is Happosai Grandmaster of the Everything Goes School of Martial arts." he said flippantly

"As for the rest of your questions I have been hiding untill the heat died down abit, as to how I came to be here you should know much better than me, you did summon me after all"

He puffed a long dollop of smoke "As for your last question girl I simply liberated my silky darlings from those delectable little mages and of course taught a lesson to those whelp as to what happens when you disrespect you elders."

Louise sputtered indignatly at the gal of this Happosai character. He couldnt be serious!

"You...YOU... You cant go aroung gropping innocent maidens stealing their underwear! Have you no shame! Do you have any idea how badly this whole attitude reflects on me your master!" she practically screamed the last worlds barely resisting the urge to throttle the little pervert.

Happosai winced at her tone of voice "Hey! They started it first! And innocent maidens?  
Puuuhleaze! I could tell by their auras that they were not innocent at all, especially that delectable little redhead". A perverted giggle escaped him at that but recovered instantly

"As for how badly my actions reflect on you or not that is something you should have thought before summoning me!" with that he gestured to the 2 moons that were visible out side the window.

"Speaking of which why DID you summon me exactly girl? Not only you dragged me here from my home plane but cast the most powerful binding I have ever seen or heard of."

He raised his marked hand close to her face "I dont know what this is but I can sense its power. So spill whats going on here!"

Louise was briefly taken aback by the intensity of Happosai's glare but rallied quickly and stomped on the little perverts head.

"Ow!"

"Watch your tongue familiar! My name is Louise de Valliere age 16! You are in the presence of nobility dont forget that!"

"I dont know why you have been specifically called but the familiar summoning ceremony is supposed to bring to the mage performing it a lifelong companion and servant to assist and accompany him,help him discover his elemental affinity and be his eyes and ears for the rest of his life! A valuable and treasured companion!"

With that she glared at Happosai "instead all I got was you!"

"So a familiar summoning huh? Someone to help you find your potential... A teacher a sensei of sorts..." with that a terrifying smile creased the old perverts face "Its been a while since I last tought a woman but I think I could manage..." turning his beady little eyes on Louise he said "I believe this will be the start of a BEAUTIFUL friendship..."

A dreadful chill run down Louise's spine as she tried to understand the meaning of the old perverts words...What exactly was she getting in to? And where would it take her?

After the initial akwardness died down abit they finally settled down and talked...

And talked...

And talked some more.

Well in to the night Happosai grilled his new victim...er slave... er STUDENT yes thats the word student mercilessly.

Some of the things he learned he suspected while others left him flabbergasted but after the long interrogation he thought he had the basic facts nailed down.

This was a world where magic was real incorporated in the everyday life of everyone.

Real magic. Not the odd potion or magical artifact that existed in his home world. Not whacky curses or the faulty ancient scrolls but the real deal.

These people were able to conjure fire,wind and water like it was nothing at all.

They could use summoning or healing magics that would be near impossible in his own world with an ease that buffled him even now that he had wittnessed them with his own 2 eyes.

Magic and those that wielded it was so potent in fact that those who had it ruled those who hadn't by divine right it seemed.

Now many would believe that Happosai given his utter disregard for such things as rules and the law would be appaled by the practice.

Nothing could be further from the truth of course. Happosai was born in an era where the rule of might makes right was at its further. Military might,physical might ,it didnt matter it had been drilled in to his mind that the strong dominated the weak and in fact if someone was strong enough he could disregard every rule and live as he wants.

Born in to a small farming village in the countryside of japan himself he had been fascinated by the martial arts from a very young age for that exact reason.

Not because he wanted to protect the weak nor to reach enlightment but to be able to live free of all ruled and restraint.

For him the stronger he was the more free he felt.

Martial arts to gain the ability to do what he liked and magic in order to have the longest possible life in order to enjoy the fruits of his labours.

Of course he hadnt been 100% succesfull.

It had taken him decades of harsh training to get to his current level and many agreements with agents both fel and fay to gain the ability to literally leach the energy of his oponnents.

While he hadnt been able to stave of old age he was well in to the fourth century of his existance and he had no intention of slowing down.

Democracy was a strange and unapealing prospect for him. Everybody being equal no matter who it was?  
A cripple or a retard to be able to choose who would govern a country?

Voting? What an unearthly prospect...

So here he was smack in the middle of a Magic academy,a honest to god school that taught magic,bound to the most powerful sorceress he had ever seen, who in turn turn had been ridiculed and bellitled for most of her life...

If he actually kept his witts about him,If he actually befriended the girl the possibilities were endless...ha...HAhahaha...MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ahem...Of course it wouldnt be easy...Happosai had certain opinions about the place of women in the grand scale of things.

The opinions you would expect from a 17th century peasant turned martial artist that gropped women for fun and profit but he could adjust if the payoff was big enough...

And the potential payoff here was gigantic.

Those were the thoughts of Grandmaster Happosai or that damn pervert ,whichever you wish, while stalking the silent corridors of the castle after leaving Louise to sleep of the days ordeals.

He had slipped in to his shadow cloak, a lesser version of his dimensional cloak, looking for the kitchens of this place to grab something to eat.

Sleep had been less and less of an issue as the years and centuries passed,not that he couldnt slip in a dreamless trance for VERY long periods of time if the need arose of course.

During his wondering he happened upon the most interesting scene.

A young man had managed to corner pretty young lass and worked his way in to her panties with some suces it seemed!

"Katie my dearest. I have a small token of my esteem to give you!" Male, young. Extravagant. Black cape, white fluffy shirt. Pants of an indeterminate color in this gloom. Blond hair and a smile that simply screamed "Score!" to Happosai's trained senses.

"R-Really Guiche?"

The girl was pretty and young, her attire much the same as Louise only the cape a different colour signifying her status as a student but what year he didnt know.

"Behold my love! A perfume I had made just for you! None in the world has something quite the same!" The young ruffian bowed low and presented a bottle of something to the girl.

"Oh Guiche thank you so much! I will treasure this forever!" the girl snatched eagerly the bottle out of his hands and hugged it to her chest.

Emboldened the young man pulled her gently closer and claimed her lips in a gentle yet intense kiss.

Happosai chuckled softly at the sight. A man after his own heart indeed! but it was time to move on.

Eventually he came upon a pretty young maid. Full figured with long black hair and a pretty face would have normally been a prime target for the aged perv but he did need information.

"Why hello there deary a lovely night isnt it?"

"Waaah" cluching her chest fearfully the maid turned around to come face to face with the oddest old man she had ever seen.

"Wh-Who are you? How did you get here?" She asked wearily.

"Well my dear my name is Happosai,Grandmaster Happosai and Im just a harmless old man summoned here by a young mage. Im just looking for something to eat and have gotten a bit lost."

The maid paled abit a took a step back.

"Its you! The little demon that was summoned and sent half the school to the infirmary!  
Please dont hurt me!" the maid looked like she was torn between bolting and falling to her knees to beg.

"Now now dear its all just vicious lies I promise! Im just a harmless old man as for those punks I simply taught them to respect their elders thats all!" he glared at her "You do respect your elders dont you?"

"Of-off course!"

"Good! Then could you show this hungry old man to the kitchen please?"

"Right Away!"

Without another word the maid turned and quickly made her way down the corridor with Happosai trailing behind her.

Happosai for his part eyed the young woman speculatively,partly enjoying the gentle sway of her hips, but mostly concetrating on her aura.

She was a healthy and vibrant young woman but there were hidden depths there as well.

interesting hidden depths.

"Say deary I didnt catch your name there earlier" gaily asked the ancient martial artist.

Siesta jumped a little and turned quickly to face him.

"It-Its Siesta sir!"

"Siesta huh?" Happosai fingered his pipe. Interesting very interesting...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2

It was just after the crack of dawn that Happosai decided to wake up his "Master".At first a rather gentle shake of the shoulder followed by a rather loud urge."Wake up girlie. The sun is up and we have much to do!"

And when that failed to produce any reaction other than a strungled Murgle-like noice and a slight shifting of the covers,followed the time honored practice of a bucket of water on the head.

It wouldnt do to throw her in the moat or the lake this early in her training after all. Mage or not she was just a feeble and scrawny woman after all far to soft and worthless to undergo the rigors of real training just yet so allowences would have to be made.

To bad that his generosity wasnt appreciated by the "Weak and helpless" young woman in question.

"Ugh!WAH!Wha-What the hell?" Louise tried to bolt upright only to get tangled in the wet mess that had become of her bedsheets causing the whole mess to crash non to gently on the flour.

"Ah I see you are awake at last! Excellent!Hurry it up girl! Get dressed we have many things to do today!" chackled the evil old perv poking at the Louise-bundle at his feel with his pipe.

Sneaking around the place was well and good but he should be able to get a much clearer picture of the place as his "Master's familiar" . Who knew what knowledge could be gleamed here and what kind of magical treasures existed in this place just waiting to be "liberated"

After all surely noone would miss a few misplaced trinkets in a place like this right?Right!

His earstwile student was proving to be a little beligerent thought.

Pink eyes harsh as agates zeroed in on him.

"You!" screached Louise still tangled up but having grabbed her wand in the meanwhile "Take this you disgusting little troll!"

He didnt know what exactly she tried to do but he had to admit that the result was... Pretty impressive actually.

A huge explosion wrecked the room and catapulted a slightly crispy Happosai right out the door.  
Said door slammed shut right afterwards though a shout could still be heard "And stay out you damn perv! Dont you dare come in untill I get dressed!"

Happosai glared at the door but decided that proper punishment for her manhandling of a poor old man could wait until later. Making his way down the corridor and ignoring the alarmed shouts coming from the other rooms he perched down next to the dormitory tower entrance in order to wait for the girl to come out.

While waiting for his young "Master" to come Happosai mused on her magic.  
Clumsy yes but very very powerful to be able to char him abit with such an unfocused blast.

Happosai while not a mage had made it a point early in his martial arts career to learn the intricacies of ki versus magic and toughen himself up against magic both direct and indirect.  
Nobody knows after all when an irrate priest or witch may try to blast or even worse curse you for no other reason than borrowing a scroll or item!Quite unreasonable really!

Normally ki and magic didn't mix all that well But Happosai had spent many summoning scrolls calling upon lesser demons such as imps or lesser fae and had painstakingly learned the ways in which ki could be used to blunt or disrupt incoming magical blusts or to sense and at least try to avoid curses and scrying.

Off course he had suffered greatly under the hellfire used typically by even the weakest of demons and the twisting influence of the fae magics but it had been well worth it.

To be affected at all by his little students magic spoke very well about her aptitude and power.

"Its Him! The dirty hentai little troll!"The shout snapped him out of his thoughts and raising his eyes he came upon the most welcome sight.

It was the chesty little readhead from yesterday along with the blue haired girl that had tried to freeze his balls off!

A terrifying grin splitted the ancient perverts face.

This was going to be sooo much fun!

Louise herself was scowling.

"Stupid familiar" she mumbled as she made her way down the corridor and out of the dormitory tower."Who does he think he is waking me up like that? stupid water. stupid explosion. Stupid stupid stupid! Stupid perverted old lech."

She would have continued for some time on this vein when she heard a shout that she would come to dread in the future.

"SWEET-OOO!"

"What a haul! What haul!"

Followed closely by panicked screams,oaths of vengeance,the sound of stone splintering under a barrage of flame and ice,the swish of wind blades seeking an ever elusive target  
and of course the perverted laughter and taunts of her trice cursed familiar.

"Wahahaha I love a woman with taste!Silk is just the thing for bras!"

"Woah you almost got me there!Only missed for about a mile!"

"Hmmm cotton is fine too!"

"Ahh so plump yet so firm.I'm in heaven!"

Heart in her mouth Louise rashed out in the courtyard to a familiar scene. Splintered stone and churned earth marked the places where attacks had landed,a disheveled Tabitha was calmly trying to track Happosai to land an attack while her redhead friend having popped her top at some point was trying to dislodge the old lech from her posterior. Off course there was blood aplenty as well as some unlucky/lucky boys were presented with a near naked Kirche and promptly erupted in massive nosebleeds.

Louise looked around lost for a moment before rallying "FAMILIAR! Get of them right this instant!What do you think you are doing there!"

Happosai looked crestfallen "Oh pooh!would you stop an old man from enjoying what simple pleasures he has left in this world?"Nevertheless he did obey near teleporting to her side from his former resting place.

Only to recieve a boot to the face."You idiot! Stop harrasing the other students. Don't you understand that what you do reflects to myself?Stupid lech!"Louise turned to Kirche and Tabitha "Are you two alright?"

Kirche trying and failing to preserve what modesty and dignity she had left glared at Louise "You have alot of nerve Zero! You are asking if we are alright after unleashing that twisted little troll of yours on us!A really fitting familiar, just as worthless as you!What is it a perverted imp?"

Tabitha for her part still eyeing Happosai but relaxing abit since the danger of immediate molestation was seemingly gone burried her head in her everpresent book."Fast. Resilient. Will do better next time."  
Giving one last look at Happosai she seemed to ignore his existance.

Louise started fuming as well."Useless you big-breasted cow?Is that why you couldnt land a hit on him nomatter what?That makes less than useless yourself!" she humpfed to the side "And cover up will you? You are giving everyone a free show. Not that you seem to mind."

Kirche took a step forward fire gathering in her hands only to stop cold when Happosai took a step forward himself hands outstreched and twiching and a drooling leer in his face"Just try it sweetcheeks." He fingered the bra dangling from his head "I still need your panties to make a matched set."

Deciding for once that descretion is the better part of valour Kirche grabbed Tabitha and stomped away throwing a face saving "This isnt over Zero!" over her shoulder.

Happosai turned to his diminutive master "Thats done!Where to now girl?"

Louise eyed him with displeasure "Im not a girl!I'm your master! You will adress me so!" either way she answered "To the dining hall. It's time for breakfast to be served. Feel free to look around but dont you dare attack any other students!" with that she stormed off to the dining hall.

Happposai drifted throught the castle taking note of the various places in the light of day until he found himself outside the kitchen and decided to get a bite to eat himself.

Off course he had already dinned in a manner of speaking but some grub sounded fine right now.

Entering the kitchen proper he came upon the same maid that he met last night,tacking food onto trays and trays onto carts.

"Why hello there we meet again." Happosai was pleased to see this her one. Despite her cheery and sunny disposision there were some deep currents in her aura he was most interested to explore.

"Um goodmorning Mr Happosai."While abit nervous Siesta kept to her work "What brings you here?"

Lighting his pipe with a quick burst of ki and taking a deep drag Happosai answered "Oh the girl that summoned me is abit miffed with me at moment. Anything good here for a poor old man to eat?" looking around he assesed "wow lots of stuff. They sure eat alot aren't they?"

"What are you doing here? Are you a noble?" A big man in a chefs hat drew close to Happosai "What was that? How did you light the pipe?"

Happosai glanced at his pipe "Nah Im not a mage myself. I'm rather proficient in martial arts though. That was a simple trick anyone can learn it."

Seemingly molified the big man went about getting him something to eat while Siesta drew closer"Um excuse me mr Happosai what are martial arts?Are they related to magic?"

Happosai puffed a dollop of smoke before answering "Magic? I suppose you could say that martial arts can produce some of the results of magic but unlike magic they are open to anyone willing to put in the effort to learn." fixing an intent glare to Siesta he added "Alot of effort."

Strangely that didnt seem to deter the maid."But anyone can learn right?As long as one is willing to pay the price?"

Happosai grinned before grabbing the sandwich that has been prepared for him and walked out "Of course girl. Everything is open and available to those willing to pay the price." he said leaving a very thoughtful maid behind him.

"Everything huh?" she murmured turning back to her work lost in thought.

After leaving the kitchen Happosai kept walking around tha castle ignoring both the dark glares of the females and the wispered discussions of the male students. After all nobody seemed to have the nerve to aproach him so he was willing to leave well enough alone for now.

Of particular interest were the various animals that were all over the place,the animal familiars of the rest of the students.

Some were as common as an animal can be. Cats ,dogs,various birds pretty useful as companions and scouts he supposed but nothing to be overly concerned then there were those that breached the barrier of the fantastic.

A giant floating eyeball drew his attention initially as he has read about such. Beholders were a terror to encounter but this didnt fit the bill very well. With further inquiry he learned that it was called a bugbear and didnt share any of the fearsome abilities of its distant kin.

There were others as well. Most noticable among them a big salamander and what appeared to be a large blue drake. Upon closer examination though he determined the drake to be a honest to god baby dragon.

His time among the Musk had given him the chance to familiarize himself with the feel of a dragon's aura. He didn't know what the deal was with dragons in this place but in the homeworld the tiniest part of a dragon was extremely valuable.

His examination was most rudely interupted however when he was forced to dodge a fireball."Get away from Flame you lecherous creep!My precious salamander is not for such as you to ogle!" declared Kirche winding up for another strike.

Happosai on the other had took a deep drag out of his pipe "Well you are just a glutton for punishment arent you girl?" he cackled as he prepared to dive to what was rapidly becoming his favourite resting place.

Only the intervention of Tabitha in the form of a huge ice wall saved the redhead from further humiliation. Slapping Kirche's hand with her staff Tabitha said a single word"Go" and turned to leave followed by the blue drake.  
Kirche seemed torn for a moment but glaring still at Happosai called her salamander and followed the bluette.

"Well what do you know?Someone has a shread of common sense" chackled the old pervert deciding just this once to let bygones be bygones. Spotting Siesta he hopped to her side"Hello there again girl" he said grinning "Working hard?"

"Um yes" Siesta answered abit timidly "excuse me mr Happosai but I can't sit around and talk.I have to deliver this food" she indicated to the tray she was carrying.

"Well I'll accompany you"said Happosai falling in to step beside her."Tell me dear you seem somewhat familiar where are you from?"

"Um shouldn't you be getting to know your master better mr Happosai?" she kept going towards a particular table."That's whats supposed to be happening now after all isnt it?"

"Oh I have had a long talk with my *master* last night." puffing a small dollop of smoke Happosai continued "There are a few rough spots to be adressed but Im certain its nothing we cant handle"

"Well if you insist" Siesta started serving a blond haired girl holding a frog in one hand and the boy Happosai remembered putting the moves to the brown haired girl-Katie was it?- last night"Im from Tarbes,a little village to the north."Turning abit to avoid a sniff from the giant mole on the boy's lap she continued"I come from a large family so I came to work in the academy to earn my keep."

Meanwhile the blond boy asked for a refill for his tea and as Siesta turned to leave followed by Happosai,the boy seemed to notice him for the first time.

"Ha! Its the old man Zero summoned",the boy said to his a sniff from his rose he pointed to Happosai."That's what happens when a worthless wannabe like Zero is allowed to summon a familiar my dear Montmorency. She gets a worthless nobody as a familiar. Truly if she weren't the dukes daughter she wouldnt even be counted as a mage."

Well, looked like the little punk wanted to play.

Slowly turning Happosai took a slow drag from his pipe"Well,well if it isnt the useless little punk from last night. What 's the matter boy you didn't manage to bed the brown haired wench of yours -Katie wasn't it now- and you are now trying with this blond little number?"

"You! How dare you talk to a noble like that!" the blond punk seemed shocked at Happosai's rebutal"I will no take..."

Whatever he wanted to say was interrupted by Montmorency's hand on his shoulder" Guiche. Kindly explain what he means. Who is this Katie character?"

Guiche resembled a cornered animal for a moment before attempting to put out the fire Happosai had started"Nothing my love! lies all of it!" he took a deep breath and looked in her eyes"After all the only one I have eyes for is you"

This seemed to avert the disaster untill Happosai delivered the final blow "Well there she is my boy and she seems to be dubbing abit of the perfume you gave her last night!" Chackling evilly he added "Maybe I was mistaken! Maybe you did bed her after all and simply want some desert!"

Guiche paled and turned around only to come face to face with Katie that had witnessed the entire exchange teary eyed herself"You creep!" she shouted "I cant believe I trusted you!I even gave you my first kiss!" a stinging slap to the face later the girl run of crying.

"You slimeball" screeched Montmorency "That was the special perfume I made for you! I cant believe you gave it as a gift to another girl!" a stinging slap to the other chick later she run off crying as well leaving Guiche with twin slapmarks for his trouble.

"Mr Happosai" said Siesta rushing back with a tray of tea "You shouldn't goad the nobles!They wield magic and who knows what they might do."

Happosai simply poured himself some tea and seeped abit down."Well my girl I have always said that young people these days have no respect at all for their elders.I simply demonstrated what happens when young punks that really should have known better mouth of."He pointed to Guiche"Maybe now he will think abit before butting in my bussiness next time."

The crowd that had gathered was laghing at Guiche who was looking around still at a loss. Pointing at Happosai he gritted out "You despicable little man. How dare you break the fragile hearts of two maidens!" possing dramatically he added "Surely the heavens weep for this injustice!"

Happosai did a spitake at that. Another Kuno a full world away? Impossible!"Unlike you boy I like my women eager and ready!Your little tricks are a discrace!"He chackled again "But maybe thats the only way you can get em huh?"

Guiche sputtered in outrage"How dare you you despicable commoner!That's it! I chalenge you to a duel!" possing dramatically with his rose he added "Or are you as worthless as your master old man?"

Happosai's eyes narrowed. So the little punk wanted some real schooling didnt he? Well he was eager to deliver!"Where and when you little windbag?"

Sputtering again Guiche made a sweaping gesture"Such disrespect still! Right now at the Vestry court!"with that he stalked of cape aflatter.

As Happosai moved to follow Siesta bent close "Are you certain mr Happosai? A duel is no laughing matter! You could be killed!" cluching her hands to her chest she radiated fear and concern.

"Ah to have a pretty lady to worry about little old me!What else could an old man ask for."Happosai waggled his brows comically"Dont worry my dear.I will put that whelp in his place soon enough and then maybe you can comfort this tired old man huh?"

Siesta stepped back letting out a cute little meep.

"Familiar! What are you doing?" turning his head Happosai saw Louise advancing to him full of fury."I couldn't even leave you alone for a few hours and you are again in trouble?"  
she started dragging him to the Vestry court."Quick! If you apologize maybe Guiche will let this stupid duel drop!"

"So are you really useless and worthless to be called a mage girl?"That served as bucket of cold water for Louise."Thats what he said you know."continued Happosai"That the only reason you are concidered a mage is because of your Daddy." Taking another drag from his everpresent pipe he coldly asked "Are you simply going to take it girl?"

Louise was shaking with fury. First they bellitle her and taunt her every effort and now this!Head bowed she asked quietly "Can you do it?"

"Do what girl?" came the brutal answer "Deal with an overstuffed little wind bag like him?With both hands tied behind my back. But why should I do it?If you are so willing to crawl to the first punk that insults you like that why should I even bother?" backing her up Haposai continued "Ever since I came here I have seen your inferiors treating you like dirt and you just take it. So tell me why should I bother."

Louise took a deep breath "I dont want this to continue any more..."Looking down to the ancient martial arts master she made her choice "What do you want me to do?"

Happosai gave her a lopsided grin "Well girl for this worthless fop I will settle for calling me sensei or teacher instead of familiar all the time. Is that acceptable?"

Louise nodded slowly"Yes...Sensei"

Happosai turn and walked towards the court"Shall we go and show him just who he is messing with then girl?"

Louise and Siesta followed him in silence.

As Happosai aproached the Vestry Court Guiche was busy grandstanding and digging his own grave even deeper. He had boasted of his own martial prowess and sneered at that of the malicious perverted old wretch that had slandered him so viciously.(Not forgeting to toss in numerous remarks concerning his Zero of a master and her unworthliness.)He lovingly dwelt on the ways he would humiliate the familiar and then his master for she was when everything was said and done the one who brought him here. He also threw in the most extravagant oaths of eternal love for his golden haired goddess.

And so on, and so forth. Happosai repressed a most evil grin. He thought the polishing touch had been his demand that Louise prepares her carriage. She would need it,Guiche explained, since leaving in discrace would be the only way for her to save face since he would prove once and for all that the hallowed halls of Tristain's magic academy were only meant for real mages.

Happosai glanced at Louise. His deminutive master was red faced with rage. That was a very good thing really. The girl was in serious need of an ego boost and what better way to deliver it than the pain,suffering and humiliation of fools. And it would only serve to highlight his usefulness and bind this poor child to her benevolent sensei even tighter.

A quick glance at Siesta made the mental smile even wider.A demonstration was definately in order. The girl had a strange hungry look in her eyes. Just the kind of look a respected martial arts master such as himself lived for regarding potential students. Off course she still remained a woman and low born at that but the potential was there.

Happosai decided enough was enough."Are you done my boy or should I take a nap?" stopping Guiche midrant he gave an exaggerated yawn "I believe we are here to see you proving your ahem *martial vigour* and *noble superiority* not fall asleep from boredom."

"Bold words" he said and posed dramatically "but who am I to deny you your chastisment vulgar commoner?" The crowd seemed eager for the fight to start. Just like the old Furinkan crowd behaved during duels really.

As Guiche finished with his idiotic grandstanding Happosai took note of the crowd. He caught sight of Siesta fretting on the outcome. Louise for a change was calmly waiting for the drubbing he had promised to begin. He even caught sight of Kirche and Tabitha,the redhead positively gleeful at the prospect of his eventual pasting while the bluette was watching intently, no doubt waiting to get a better handle on his abilities.

Guiche left a single petal drop from his rose"My name commoner is Guiche the Bronze. My bronze golem the Valkyrie will be the instrument of your doom."An armored figure sprouted from the petal shaped like a female suit of armour.

Happosai narrowed his eyes.A golem?and produced with almost no effort at all. interesting ,apparently the mana currents on this world were indeed much stronger. But all the same it was just an animated hunk of metal.

Happosai calmly waited the golem to close the distance and then gave it a simple poke with his pipe."Butterfly Kiss!" channeling a minute amount of ki he simply stood and admired the result.  
Guiche barely had the time to avoid the gutted hunk of metal that had once been a golem."What!How..!"The nobleman took a few steps back shocked at the casual disposal of his masterpiece.

Taking a deep drag from his pipe Happosai looked on with exaggeraded boredom."Is that all you got boy?Full of hot air arent you."  
Guiche gulped and marshaled his resources. 8 petals dropped to the ground forming 8 of the bronze golems,these armed with swords and spears, four staying back as a defensive screen while the other four charged the diminutive pervert filled with deadly purpose.

Four pokes of the pipe later followed by an equal number of shouted butterfly kisses produced eight wrecked lumps of metal that once were golems. Golems were tough and all but being hit at near supersonic speeds by equal masses of metal made a mess of things.

The crowd gaped at the sight. They had come here to watch Guiche teach this pervert a lesson but he had actually wrecked his vaunted golems with no effort at all?Louise was beside herself with glee and Siesta...well Siesta was taking all in with even greater hunger than before. So this was what Martial arts were like...

Guiche was sweating furiously now. It had taken alot out of him to create that many golems at once yet the fiendish old man still stood there as calm as you please. Forming a sword in his hand he took a menacing step forward."It looks like I will have to dirty my hands after all commoner. Be greatful! Its not every day I produce the sword of my family."Without another word he lunged forward sword poised to cut down the pervert where he stood.

He only had time for just one swing.A poke of the pipe shattered the sword forcing it out of his grasp.A hit at the back of his legs brought him to his knees,eye level with his tormentor,and a poke to the side of the neck locked his body in place, unable to move,no matter how hard he tried.

The pipe slid under his jaw forcing his eyes to meet those of the terrible old man."My name my boy is Grandmaster Happosai of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts.A school of martial arts that I may add is responsible for a great many deeds in my homeworld but as I can see you reclusive barbarians haven't even heard of martial arts much less my school." The pipe lowered and pointed at the point it had hit earlier."An interesting aspect of martial arts my boy are pressure points"

Poke.

"This here pressure point for example locks up everything from the neck down. You cant move no matter what."the pipe slid downwards.

Poke.

A shocked scream of pain echoed throughout the courtyard.

Guiche felt like his bones were on fire. Blazing agony had filled him for long moments bringing tears of pain and horror in his eyes before it vanished as fast as it came."That is called the Eternal Pain pressure point. Off course I didnt hit it to hard. Only for a few seconds so you could apreciate its versatility."The pipe sleed even further down.

Poke.

With an unearthly heave Guiche puked his guts out."That on the other hand is a medical pressure point my boy. Very useful getting rid of poisons or other ingested agents."The pipe travelled sideways now.

Poke.

Guiche felt his bowels losen in the most explosive manner. Yellow liquid began running down his paralyzed legs while an unbearable stink began wafting in the air. Cries of shock and horror could be heard in the backround."Another medical pressure point my boy. Pretty useful for a number of purposes including vacating people to full of their own shit to see clearly."The pipe came again under his jaw forcing his terrified eyes to meet those of his tormentor yet again."Dont you feel privileged to be given a lesson on the finer points of martial arts by a venerated master such as me my boy?" Drawing closer and tapping his jaw once "an once in a lifetime chance this" added Happosai.

"I yield!" Finally finding his voice Guiche managed to croak out "Please I yield.I'll do anything,please, you won!."The pipe came in his field of vission taping him on the forhead a couple of times."You will do anything huh?"Happosai mused.

Pointing to the shocked crowd he called out"Louise!Come here!"

Louise managed to shake of her stupour and rashed to the crooked old mans side."Ye-yes?" she asked looking down on Guiche in horror,pity and deep seated satisfaction.

Happosai tapped his nose with his pipe and pointed to Louise"Is the something you wish to tell her boy?"

Guiche adopted what in another world was called the Crouch of the Wild Tiger.  
"Miss de Valliere I beg you to accept my sincerest apologies!I dont know what came over me and said all those awful things!You are truly a most powerful mage to summon such a magnificent familiar. Please disregard all my previous comments!I apologise for every insulting thing I may have said and done."He then turned his attention to Happosai "My sincerest apologies to you as well Grandmaster Happosai.I didnt realise what an august presence walked among us. Please disregard my earlier comments." pausing he saw Happosai frawn "And Im most grateful for you lesson on the fine points of martial arts"He hurriedly added. The frawn eased.

Happosai was impressed. The worthless boy had actually managed to outgrovel Genma.

Turning to Louise he finally asked"Is that enough girl?" he poked again Guiche"Or should I make him squirm a little more?"

For a terrible moment Louise looked tempted but finally relented."No I think that will suffice. Come lets get out of this place" she turned and walked away slowly followed closely by Happosai leaving behind the a shocked crowd and Guiche still kneeling in a puddle of his own filth.

"You were saying the truth."stated Louise her voice very quiet. The brutality with which Happosai had ended the duel had been illuminating to say the least. There could be no doubt that martial arts were just as potent as he told her.

Happosai drew a long puff from his pipe before answering."Martial arts have a history of millenia in my homeland girl. There are more things out there than you or anyone can imagine. Martial arts is just a small part of it."he told her bluntly.

After the duel Louise and Happosai had retreated to a secluded part of the yard reserved for students who wanted to familiarize themselves with their summons.

Louise was sipping some tea and Happosai kept puffing away with his pipe while Siesta was hovering nearby ready to serve them and eavesdropping shamelessly at their conversation. The maid was throwing contempative glances at Happosai every so often only to turn away when he returned the glance.

"Could you be a bit more precise mr Happosai?" Siesta asked. Louise glanced at her but didnt rebuff her since she was curious as well. They had talked for a long while last night but she didnt actually believe all the things he had told her.

"I'm not the kind to explain things twice so listen well." Happosai streched abit on his chair looking lost at the rings of smoke he had produced.

Both Louise and Siesta leaned closer eager to gain an insight on the previously unknown discipline.

"Magic,as I have told you before,while not unknown in my world is the province of the very few who can actually manipulate the arcane forces in any usable way. There are the rare magical artifacts or scrolls scattered around the world but for the common man magic is just a myth. The vast majority of people in my world dont believe there is magic at all."

He drew from his pipe again before continuing."In the absence of magic we sought other ways to cope with the world, Technology the art of tools and machines,is the dominant one right now. Alchemy and potion making was also developed even if it has other names nowadays."

He gestured to himself."And then there are people like me. Martial arts started out as a simple way of defending ourselves pushing the limits of the body and spirit to the furthest extent. But somewhere along the way,throught extensive physical training and meditation, we managed to start manipulating the physical energy of the body and in extension of the world itself."

He allowed a sphere of ki to settle in his outstreched palm."We call it Ki. It is different than magic mind you. A normal person is limited to the amount of ki his body can produce. The stronger and more fit a person the more ki he can produce."With that he chackled."Of course producing ki is one thing. Being able to manipulate it is quite another. Only through strict self discipline and meditation or reaching the edge of physical exaustion itself you can sense and manipulate it."

He allowed the sphere to dissipate."As you can understand few are willing to put in the effort required to reach that point. Most of those who do are capable of using it to strengthen their bodies making them able to shrug off blows that would have killed a normal person or to crash stone with their bare hands.A rare few are able to use pure ki itself in various ways. They can project it as a missile or to strengthen weapons and armour making them able to cut throught everything or withstand almost everything."

"And finally there are such as myself."Happosai shrugged expressively."When you get right down to it girl, ki manipulation is both a matter of training as it is of sheer bloody stuborness,sheer willpower. There exists a point where a martial artist can either let go and drift down the road to ignomity and final death or keep going no matter what reaching always for new hights in his skill and ability.I myself have followed that path for more than 300 years now."

He slumped back before reaching a conclusion."Of course there are ways to gain abilities and power easier,shortcuts if you will, but the price is always high and what you get may not be what you expect."

Silence reigned for a short while as the girls tried to digest his revelations.

Siesta was awestruck.A world without magic and a discipline open to anyone. Andnow a teacher of such...well lechery and perversion but also skill was here.

"But how can that be?"Louise was lost herself"How is it possible for magic to not exist?It has always been here. Even before Brimir there was some kind of magic even of the crudest sort."

Happosai puffed once again his everpresent pipe."Im not certain girl. Certainly magic was much more prevelent in the distant past of my world. our most ancient legends speak of great empires using it to a great extend but some kind of disaster struck and everything was lost. Maybe a great war. Maybr some great work of magic went wrong, nothing more than an accident or maybe something changed so fundamentaly in the nature of the world itself and everything came crashing down. There are still ancient sites that hold echoes of that great fall . Places of chaos and horror."He pointed to Louise"Enough of that though girl. There is no point in fretting over things lost for millenia."

Louise let out a shuddering sigh."But how did I summon you?If what you say is truth you are far more powerful than any of the familiars around here." letting her head drop she continued"I have never managed to make magic work only think I am good at is blowing things up. Louise the Zero indeed..."

Only to recieve a bonk on her head."Ow what was that for?" she asked rubbing her aching head."Nonsense girl!" Exclaimed Happosai "One of the skills I do have is the ability to see auras and potential and yours is maybe the biggest I have ever seen!"

Louise visibly perked up."But why do I keep failing then?I have tried everything."

Happosai for his part simply shugged"That I dont know I just arrived in this world and there is much I dont know.I will help you though to reach your potential."pointing at the runes on his hand he added"After all we are bound now you and I.I will make certain that you are up to speed in no time."que evil,evil grin."No matter how much sweat and pain you will have to endure."

Louise barely resisted the urge to dive behind the table.

When Louise went to sleep that night she was greatly unsettled. For the first time in her young life she had succeded in a magic endeavour. Her summon may not look like much but he was a most powerfull if perverted martial arts master. He defended her from those that bellitled her and even promised to help her get through her inability to cast spells. Maybe a time would come that she wasn't known as a Zero.

That night Louise had the strangest of dreams.

There was Happosai,less prunelike,facing an enormous Monster. Only he didnt fight it but talked to it as if it were an old friend.

She couldn't make out the particulars but it was more of a bussines transaction than anything else. The monster -an Oni?What in the world was an oni?- gave him a map and Happosai in return...What?Gave it an incredibly dense sphere of that peculiar ki energy and an unspecified favour to be claimed later?

That was the only thing she was able to make out before she descended in an even more peculiar dream.A field where trees had bras and panties instead of fruits and leafs and there were increadibly busty women in every corner?

Needless to say the sleep of a certain diminutive mage wasnt peaceful that night.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Life was good,Happosai thought,gleefully hugging his latest find.

Say what you will about the nobles of this place but the women at least had excellent taste!Silk,cotton,muslin their underwear were the best!So many exquisite new silky darlings for his collection!

Their security was a joke too. Like stealing candy from a baby. As if a few simple magic locks and traps could stop a devoted collector like him!

Of course there were suspicions. But the lack of evidence combined with the knowledge that Grandmaster Happosai or that evil little gnome as they called him now was not one to be crossed kept mouths shut.

His first few days accompanying Louise at her classes had been informative as well.A world whose magic system fanctioned along elemental lines,Fire,Earth,Water,Air and the long lost element of the Void were combined to produce various magic effects while the mages themselves were rated according to the number of elements they were able to combine on a single spell. Dot for a single ellement,line for 2,triangle for 3 and the square for those rare indeviduals that could combine 4.

Louise had only managed to produce explosions no matter what element she tried but even that was informative. Either she did something wrong or she was using the wrong method or element to call upon her magic. More observation would be required to see what actually happened but he didnt mind. Afterall her explosions were fairly impressive themselves even if the silly girl got depressed at her *failures*.

Off course it wasnt all puppies and sunshine.

His chastisment of that little punk Guiche had led to Louise's and his summons to the principals office. Apparently duels were illegal. Funny thing how they didnt bother to stop it before starting though.

But even that had ended well.A fine man ,the Principal,A fine man indeed!  
Happosai could spot a familiar spirit a mile away. And that fox of a secretary of his! Rawr!  
Truth be told he envied the man a little. Being surrounded by so many energetic young women every single moment.A worthy achievement indeed!

Explanations had been given,apologies for slights real of imagined rendered and in the end he had even managed to gain entrance to the library itself!

Oh happy day!

His mussings were rudely interupted when the door of the room he was currently *Ahem* exploring opened and a familiar redhead walked in followed by her familiar. She closed the door and only then did she notice the intruder.

"You!"Kirche pointed accusingly "What the hell are you doing here you horrible little troll?"She gaped when she saw his ill-gotten spoils."Let go of my panties this instant you damn thief!Did that failure Zero put you up to this?"

"Hell no sweetheart!"Happosai giggled evilly raising his loot for her inspection."I did tell you that I want to make a set didnt I?And what a set it is!"With that he rubbed said panties adoringly to his cheak."Ahh so soft even if there is so little of it."

"You damn evil gnome!" swore Kirche "Take this!" with a gesture she sent a small flame dragon his way which Happosai promptly deflected,not before using it to light his pipe."Easy there girl."He said cordially."You wouldnt want to wreck you own room wouldn't you?"

Kirche hesitated for a secong before ordering her salamander in to the fray.

"Get him Flame!Fry the pervert!"

The faithfull lizard charged forward only to be redirected to a nearby wall and out of the action.

Seeing that Kirche started charging up a truly epic fireball but Happosai decided to end things before they got anymore out of hand. It wouldn't do for the foolish girl to blow up his silky darlings after all. It wouldn't do at all.

Seemingly teleporting right in to her face he hit the same pressure point he had used on the blond fop ,bringing the busty redhead to her knees.

Kirche of course was furious. Deprived of any physical means to express her outrage she started swearing at the perverted old troll and what a vocabulary she had!Happosai's geneology was commented upon,dogs and monkeys were mentioned in particular,while pigs were prominent as well. His failings as a person were exposed in loving detail and his potency as a martial artist was ruthlessly questioned.

Happosai was chuckling through all this and even took down some notes for future referance but only when he turned to leave did Kirche manage to hit something sensitive."-stard!No wonder you are stealing underwear!I bet you have never actually been with a woman!You wouldnt know what to do with one even if you had her!An impotent eunuch all your life knowing nothing about women you freak!Urk!"The last noise was her mouth clamping shut when the pipe came under her chin.

Happosai slowly turned around looking at her wide open eyes. He tracked his pipe down the line of her throat to the top of her chest.

Poke.

Kirche was flooded with heat. The kind of heat she so desperately chased when she had her flings with the various boys and that when all was said and done she rarely felt from their grabing hands. She flushed as sweat beaded on her forhead and moisture -Hot,wet- moisture gathered at the bottom of her belly."Wha-What" she managed to croack out as Happosai leaned closer.

"It seems that we started at the wrong foot you and I my dear.I must admit I had been negligent.I never actually thanked you for comforting me when I came through to this place or for you wonderful contributions to my collection."The pipe slid lower until it rested on top of her belly."So consider this a reward for services rendered."

Poke.

Kirche's eyes opened wide before rolling back leaving only the whites showing and a ragged scream tore out of her throat as a lighting bolt of pure pleasure tore through her system. And another. And yet another leaving her panting on the floor only to realize that another wave was gathering yet again. As from a great distance away she heard Happosai opening the door and his parting shot before he closed it again."Its called the Sunburst pressure point girl.I rediscovered it,stealing it away, from a bunch of hummorless,bossy women in China. It should wear out in an hour or 2."

"Have fun!"

Happosai puffed away at his pipe as he strolled down the hall.A fine day today indeed!

"We should really get you a better weapon" stated Louise eyeing Happosai's pipe with distaste."That little piece of wood you seem to favour so much looks ready to fall apart."she hopped up "I have decided!We are going shopping.

"Slow down girl." objected Happosai."My pipe is not a weapon.I simply use it to smoke every now and then. After all my martial arts style isn't really compatible with the use of weapons." Taking a deep drag from the pipe in question he added "A weapon is a hinderance after all. Seperate a weapon user from his weapon and he is helpless most of the time. The same seems to be the case for a mage and is wand.'

"But I really want to go shopping!" Whined Louise."After all we can simply buy a weapon that is bespeled to stick to your hand. Or even come back if you lose it!" she gazed at him pleadingly "C'mon Sensei dont be a spoilsport!"

The talk of spells brought Happosai up short."Wait,are we talking about a magic weapon here?You people sell them in stores?"Louise looked pazzled at his outburst."Off course we sell them in stores. How else would blacksmiths and alchemists make a living?"

Happosai closed his eyes for a brief moment. He still tended to forget that he was in a world where magic was as common as water. Still the chance to obtain a magic weapon could not be passed up. Who knows when you may encounter a beastie that would be a bad idea to touch.

"Far be it from me to deny a gift from my student."He took another deep drug."Lead the way then girl."

"Welcome to the great city of Tristain,the capital of the kingdom!"Louise proclaimed proudly."You should feel proud you know. It is one of the greatest cities of the continent after all and the market is one of the best as well!"Say what you will about Louise but she was a real patriot,proud of her heritage and country.

Happosai on the other hand was rather underwhelmed. This was a great city?Granted the whole medieval castletown motiff was charming but really...When you had seen the teaming cities of Asia it barely amounted to a town. Still it felt good to be out of the academy.

He followed Louise down a cobblestone road and into a rather modest shop.

"Welcome!" called out the shop keeper only to come up short when he noticed Louise's cape and bearing.A noble. Just great."We are a honest bussines here I want no trouble."He hastened to add.

"I'm a customer!"Louise declared,abit affronted with the shopkeepers attitude."I need a weapon for him."she said pointing to Happosai who was busy looking around.

The man gawked at the shrunken old man."Is this a joke?"He demanded."This old man looks ready to croak at any moment and you want to get him a weapon?"Louise bristled at that and started berating the shopkeeper.

Happosai ignored the ongoing foolishness and started wondering around the shop taking in the various weapons on display. Many of them tingled to his finely honed senses and he started drooling at the possibilities presented here.A real to god magic shop! Who would have guessed.

He wandered deeper in to the shop,while in the backround Louise had reached full rant mode. It looked liked the girl had been frustrated and the poor shopkeeper was unlucky enough to be in position for her to unload. He abruptly came to a stop in front of barrel full of what appeared to be scrap metal. There was something here...

"Hello there."said one the swords in the bin.

Happosai blinked. This wasn't normal even by his own extremely loose standards.

"Why hello there."He peered closer to the sword."is this some kind of added feature or are you really a talking sword?"

"I am the famous Derflinger." boasted the sword."Who are you though? You dont really seem the type to wield a sword but there is something familiar about you."

Happosai was reeling. Not just a talking sword but a truly sentient one?"Im grandmaster Happosai of the Anything Goes School of martial arts. Martial arts sensei and collector of silky darlings."

"Very familiar..." mumbled the sword."Tell you what! I am bored resting in this place for so long. Why dont you give the shopkeeper a bit of gold and I can be your partner!"

"Sounds good" hedged Happosai "but what does *partner* mean exactly?Does it involve soulsucking,an endless thirst for blood or hearing voices in my head? If it does Im afraid I will have to decline. I'm much to old for that kind of excitement Im afraid."

"What?No!" Derflinger sounded horrified and affronted."Im a noble and ancient sword,I dont do that kind of thing!"

"Well ok" allowed Happosai."Hey shopkeeper! I got something I want to buy over here!"  
The shopkeeper looked grateful to get away from his diminutive master."Yes sir! Certainly sir!I see you got old Derflinger there. It will be 300 new gold."

"What?" screeched Louise "300 gold for that piece of rust?Do I look like a fool to you?" She eyeballed the shopkeeper "You better be jesting shopkeeper."

"Hey who are you calling a piece of rust?" protested Derflinger."I am a powerful and ancient magic artifact!I have mysterious powers you cant hope to comprehend!" and them a mumbled "If only I could remember what they were..."

"You are ancient alright..."commented Louise."Now shopkeeper give me a price and lets be done with it."The shopkeeper swallowed nervously."200 new gold then miss. A fair price isnt it?"

"So be it." said Louise and payed the visibly relieved shop owner."I do have other places to be after all. Come on sensei lets..go?"She looked around to find that Happosai had vanished."Where did he go?"

Failing to find him Louise went on her way to shop for herself trying to ignore the strange happenings that started cropping up a bit later.  
Huge crowds of women looking for a "cursed panty thief and peeping tom",shopowners shouting for the guards after having apparently been robbed blind by a masked short thief and the guards running around like headless chickens looking for the aformentioned thief.

Hours later she found him waiting for her outside the town a huge shack on his shoulders and a smile on his lips."I can't take you anywhere can I?" she asked dejectedly.

"I have no idea what you are talking about" he said falling in to step beside her."Im a poor old man with simple tastes.I just found the excitement of the city a bit to much and came out here to meditate under the trees."Surprizingly he managed to get that out with a straight face.

"So many wonderful curves..."blubbered Derflinger in the backround."I knew I was missing something vital. So much smooth skin..."

Louise palmed her face."Wonderful...A perverted old sword to match a perverted old man...Just simply great!"

Happosai ignored her and kept rubbing his new acquisitions.

Things were definately looking up.

After comming back from their shopping trip Louise and Happosai went their seperate ways. She headed for the library to search for something they had talked about earlier. The summoning of a human familiar was practicaly unheard off. if she managed to find a record of earlier mages that had managed to summon one maybe she would come a step closer to unlocking her own potential. As for Happosai...

The ancient martial arts master retreated in his own private little corner of the castle. He was supposed to be staying with Louise of course but he had long before learned the value of a private lair -er...Sanctuary!Yes thats the word ! Sanctuary!- where he could sort out his latest loot and have abit of time for himself.

During his exploration of the castle he had found a series of abandoned out of the way warehouses,long unused cells and even an ancient dungeon still baring the wreckage of various instruments of *interrogation*.

He had made his roost there fairly certain that noone would disturb or stumble upon him by accident, so the soft knock at his door came as quite a surprise. He frowned abit and opened to face the most unexpected visitor.

"Why hello there girl."He stepped aside allowing Siesta inside."I must say that I am puzzled and surprised to see you.I was quite certain noone knew of my little abode."He gestured to an old bench."Im afraid I am not in the best position to entertain though."He watched her as she sat down shifting uneasily."So what can this old man do for you?"

Siesta shied away from his intense stare but quickly rallied. She was here so there was no going back."Ah mr Happosai, maybe you haven't heard but my contract with the academy has been bought off."

"Indeed?" commented Happposai "Good for you girl but what does that have to do with me?"

Siesta bravely -for her at least- forged on."The contract has been bought by Count Mott the royal messanger. He is a very wealthy and powerful man mr Happosai." she shifted uncomfortably on the bench."There are rumors about him mr Happosai. Bad rumors.I dont think I want to be his employee if I have a choice."

Happosai had to admit that his interest was peaked but still...The fact remained that it was none of his bussiness."I think I can see where this goes still have not told me why you came here though."

"When I saw you duel with lord Guiche it was like a revelation mr Happosai."Siesta was visibly shaking with emotion now."Someone without magic stood up to a noble and won. You said that your kind of power,your kind of discipline, can be learned by anyone."She returned his attention with her own burning stare."I dont want to be powerless anymore mr Happosai.I dont want to become the plaything of a noble pig,used and discarted without a second thought." Bowing deeply she wispered "Will you accept me as a student."

"No" Happosai unswered bluntly."Firstly you are to old girl. It takes years -decades- of harsh training to tap ones Ki. Time that by your own admission you dont have. Secondly my martial arts style ,while flexible, is not suited for women. It would be simply to much trouble for me to device a training regiment suited for you. So I must decline your request."

"Yes" wispered Siesta "I kind of thought as much." cluching her hands tightly together she continued."I heard you say so when you were conversing with miss Louise. But there was something else you said as well. That there are shortcuts. Roads to power for those willing to pay the price." she stared again in his eyes."I am willing to pay any price to be able to change my fate . Anything."

Happosai was taken aback from her intensity. So it looks like the maid had actually thought this out. Narrowing his eyes he made some feverish mental calculations. He had accepted that he would be for a long time in this place. If not for ever then definitely until Louise was dead and burried and he had no intention of letting his meal ticked dying any time soon.

So she was willing to pay any price huh?Well a martial arts master wasnt much without students and while the girl was to old to teach another option was available.

Lets see just how much you mean that anything of yours girl.

"Yes girl there are shortcuts." He raised a hand to forstall any comment."Most of those shortcuts will be of no use to you tho if you truly have to leave in a couple of days. Even shortcuts need their time."He took a deep drug from his pipe looking over the girl critically.

"So its no use."said Siesta in her soft voice. She got up and got ready to leave."Im sorry to have disturbed you mr Happosai."

"Sit down girl" said Happosai."I said most shortcuts. There is one technique though.I have never used it myself but I am confident I can perform it adequately. The technique itself-more of a ritual really- is supposed to forcefully open up the perception of the bodies internal energies and grant a small understanding, a pale shadow of the abilities of the one performing it directly to the receiver."

He pointed a finger to Siesta."Then there is the issue of my price girl.I intend to be here for a long time if I can help it.A martial arts master isnt much without others to take up his legacy and expand on it. Martial arts is mainly an issue of hard work but talent and aptitude have their places as well. You have inside you that potential and I bet your children will have it as well."

Crouching down he presented her with his ultimatum."So here is the price girl. An empowering technique with unknown sideffects and one of your children in the future-a male child- for me to train when he is old enough for it. What do you say?"

Siesta buckled under this demand. It was her dearest dream to meet someone to love and have a large family with. Could she truly trust this strange and powerful old man with one of her future children?

In the end she made her choice. The future was just that. The future. She had a unique opportunity here and she wasnt going to waste it."I agree to your terms mr Happosai. So what now?"

"Now girl we begin."

Hours later Happosai dragged an unconcious Siesta to an old and unused dormitory room and dropped her on the bed. The Monkey See Monkey Do technique had been draining but he was reasonably certain that he had performed it well. Now everything was in the hands of lady Luck.

With a last lingering glance to the girl he crushed any last doubts. He had given her every chance to back out but she had insisted. The world was not a place for the meek and for better or worse the deed was done.

A few hours later the young woman known as Siesta woke up suddenly and completely alert.

Her first action was to drag closer an old mirror and slip out of her plain dress.

Critically examining her reflection from every angle, she twirled around and let slip a small giggle.

"I feel...Wonderful."

Happosai had just finished sorting out his acquisitions when Derflinger finally decided to speak up.

"A fascinating technique,partner" piped up the sword from its resting place in the corner of the room."Fascinating and disturbing truth be told."

Happosai took a long puff from his trusty pipe."Difficult it was . Far more draining than I thought as well."He grabbed and rubbed one of his more risque silky darlings to his cheek."But that's what these babies are here for!Bwahahahahaha!" Recovering form his momentary lapse to panty heaven Happosai shot a glance to Derflinger."But disturbing?You claim to be a millenia old sword,a veteran of thousands of battlefields.I wouldn't expect you of all things to find my little technique disturbing."

"True that" admitted Derflinger. "I am still interested and curious though. In particular on the things you didn't talk to that pretty maid of yours about."

Happosai shot a sour glare to the sword."Nothing I said was false sword.I described to her both the technique and what the price would be." He pointed an accusing finger on Derflinger."I must say your that I find your luck of faith...Disturbing."

"C'mon now,partner" chortled the sword "I wasnt born yesterday you know.A technique that grants in a few hours what others would struggle for for years?If is was that simple I bet your homeworld would be awash with martial artists. So spill. Whats the deal here and why did you use it for a simple maid?"

Happosai's glare lessened in intensity and he let out a small chuckle."Well what do you know...Perhaps there is an edge under all that rust after all." Ignoring Derflingers shout of protest he continued."To answer your question my nossy sword I did it because I felt like it.I wanted to see if I was capable of pulling it of. Learning things out of ancient scrolls is good and all but only if you put them to the test you know if they actually work."

"As for the technique itself..." He gave an expressive gesture."First of all it is very draining to the caster.I doubt if your run of the mill master could use it more than once or twice in his lifetime. Off course I have found a way around that little issue." Rubbing his silky treasure fondly he continued."Second while it is a shortcut to power it is also a dead end. It forcibly opens up ones perception of his internal energies but bars any and all further progress. Your perception remains locked in place so to speak. All the skill you get is a very pale imitation of the casters skills the moment the technique was cast. No self respecting martial artist would accept such a limitation to his progress."

Leaning back Happosai concluded."And finally there are changes to the student himself. ki is the stuff of life and emotion. When the barriers to manipulating it go down the barriers that keep ones impulses in check fall as well. Formelly suppresed emotions come to the fore and become dominant,for a time at least." He rubbed his hands gleefully. "I cannot wait ti see how Siesta will turn out . Muahahahaha"

Derflinger would have sweatdropped if he could. What an evil old man!

"What about the one who summoned you partner?" inquired the sword." You keep going on and on about your lack of students. Why haven't you started training her? Surely there are less... uh demanding ways to bring her up to speed."

Happosai snorted."Properly train Louise? Pah! The girld hadn't had a stenuous day in her life I bet." He gestured around him. "But the core of the issue Derflinger is that I dont dare try to kickstart her down the path. She is a mage whose magic is screwed up. Ki and magic are not the same but they do interact and affect each other in several small ways. In my homeland a mage/martial artist or the opposite is a very rare thing. If I start teaching Louise before she sorts out the mess she calls her magic there is no telling what may happen." He gave the sword a drol stare "I am bold not suicidal."

He threw an old sack on top of the blade."Now get some rest! I intend to do the same."

"Hey!" pretested the sword but it was summarily ignored.

Louise went to bed more dissapointed than ever that night. For all her efforts she hadnt managed to uncover anything about Human summons. But she would not give up!She would unlock her magic no matter what!  
Strange dreams plaggued her that night as well. There was Happosai facing a pair of terrified groveling young men. One was rather fat and had beady little eyes while the other had long hair and tears running down hir eyes.  
She saw the diminutive martial arts master wrap them up in chains and weights and drop kick them to sea from a tall cliff. She could feel his glee at the sight of them fighting both the weights and the really big fishes with sharp teeth that circled them. Those 2 worthless students of his would learn the oceanborn technique even if it killed them!

Louise wimpered softly and snuggled deeper in her the terrifying dream would stay with her until the sun went up.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4

It was becoming something of a daily routine for Happosai to visit the castle kitchen in the morning and grab something to eat. The head chef Marteau seemed to have taken a shine to the old pervert, especially after he learned of the outcome of the duel with Guiche.

"Hello there mr Happosai." Greated him Marteau "I have been looking for you can we talk privately for a moment?" He gestured to a small side room."Sure thing boy" replied Happosai and followed him in closing the door behind him.

"So what is this about then?" He asked the big man."Its about Siesta mr Happosai." replied Marteau."A few days ago she left with Count Mott ,the royal messanger that comes to the academy from time to time. He bought of her contract from Old Osmond, the principal." Rubbing his head a bit sheepisly he pressed on "Siesta had been very distraught when she learned of his interest mr Happosai but the day before she left she did a complete turnabout! When Mott came to get her she seemed almost eager to go!"

"I love the members of my stuff and care for every one of them dearly." Marteau lowered his eyes and seemed to struggle abit with himself."Siesta is a good girl mr Happosai.I fear she may have been bespelled by that noble pig." He eyed Happosai beseechingly."I am but a simple cook mr Happosai.A commoner with no power to call my own. Your master is a powerful noble and you have shown before that you can handle the nobles. Could you please check on her? I simply want to make sure she is treated well."

"I think that your fears are exaggerated" commented Happosai taking a puff from his pipe."Nevertheless I am quite curious myself to see what has become of her. If my road takes me that way I will check on her my boy." with that he turned and left the room.

Marteau followed behind, not really satisfied with his rather dismissive attitude but at least somewhat reasured that someone would at least look out for Siesta.

Happosai was idling for a change in the castle courtyard next to the central fountain, waiting for Louise to get of her class. He had accompanied her in the first days, eager to learn as much as possible for the magic of this world but the novelty had worn off pretty fast. There was only so much mindless drowning by teachers he was 10 times older he could take.

"You seem displeased, partner" commented Derflinger from over his shoulder. He had taken to carrying the sword around with him in his various wanderings around the academy as well as his less chandelstine activities. Who was he to deny the poor deprived sword the chance to wittness some of the best things this place had to offer after all!

"Its nothing much Derflinger.I simply hate days like this." He gestured around the place." I am simply a little bored thats all."

Boredom was the bane of Happosai's life truth be told the ancient martial arts master had done and seen many things in his long life and at times ennui managed to creep in and make everything seem like a drag. Usually he found solace in his silky darlings or one of the other distructions he had devised over the years but every once in a while ,there were days where time seemed to crawl like mollases and everything seemed to go out of its way to aggravate him.

"I simply wish something happened" He groused right before he was forced to dodge out of the way of a rather large ice spear.

Jumping in the clear he quickly spied his attacker, the blue haired girl -Tabitha- riding her blue drake. She was circling high in the sky coming back for another pass."And Lo! Ask and thou shalt recieve! It looks like the christians are right about that after all" cackled Happosai.

Efforlessly dodging a brace of ice daggers this time, the ancient martial arts master quickly made his way to the top of the nearest tower in order to lessen his opponents height advantage."Its rather rude to attack a poor old man without any warning lass!What have I done to deserve such a cold blooded treatment?" He called out.

Tabitha on her part didnt answer but simply ordered Sylphid -her dragon- to hover in place and begun a vicious barrage of various ice projectiles trying to nail Happosai who kept dodging like a demented,hyperactive rabbit.

"C'mon girl!Where I come from it is considered the height of bad manners to try and kill somebody without telling them at least why!"Happosai shouted again keeping up on his dodging all the while."Well it seems like you are not to talkative! Come to papa!" With that he gave a sudden mighty leap heading straight for the bluette.

Unfortunately for the aged pervert he bounced of a wall of wind that suddenly sprung up around the girl and her dragon. She took the chance to unleash a giand snowball that fell right on top of Happosai as he landed.

Breathing harshly from excertion Tabitha flash-froze the entire area on top of the snowball only to see Happosai jumping out of a hole a few feet away from the affected area. He had apparently dug his way out and looked none the worse for wear.

"Heh!" chuckled the evil old man."You are the first in this forsaken place to give me a bit of a work out girl!Still it would be nice to know why!" he asked taking another drag from his pipe.

"Are you crazy partner?" erupted Derflinger "She is trying to freeze you alive and you waste time chatting? Quick drow me and lets see how she fares against me!"

"There is always time to talk to pretty lady Derflinger!Besides she is 200 year to young to even worry me!" boasted Happosai.

Narrowing her eyes at the apparent dismisal of her abilities Tabitha spoke for the fist time."Hurt Kirche." she said softly "Hurt you." while unleasing a bullet of air at the ancient pervert.

Dancing aside Happosai chuckled again."So that is what this is all about!The harmless little prank I pulled on your friend!" Eyes narrowing he querried "Did she put you up to it girl? I was under the impression she would rather enjoy my little gift."

Tabitha coloured a bit at that."No" she admitted." Still not her choice. So I hurt you."Reaching deeper in her reserves Tabitha blanketed the whole area in frost in hopes of finally nailing Happosai.

The old pervert for his part unleashed his aura for a single second withstanding the attack without any harm."Well it has been fun girl but I am afraid we have to cut this short."Throwing a cloth in front of him Happosay shouted "Now you see me,Now you dont!" and completely vanished from sight.

Tabitha looked around her in alarm trying to get a glimse of the old man while tightening her wind wall around her.

That proved to be her undoing when Happosai reappeared and conked Sylphid on top of the head.

The valiant dragon that had been left uncovered barely had time to let out a surprised "Kyuiii!" before going crosseyed from the force of the blow. Tabitha was forced to let her wind wall fall and with the last of her reserves she managed to get both her dragon and herself on the ground relatively unharmed.

That didnt save her from Happosai of course who disabled her using the same pressure point he had used on Guiche and Kirche.

"Heh heh heh." chortled the evil,evil old man raising her chin with his pipe to meet her eyes"I wonder what am I to do with you now my dear?" He asked obviously savouring the first signs of fear in her large blue eyes.

Only to be thrown flat on his face by an explosion that beaned him on the back."Familiar!What the hell are you doing?" screeched Louise."How dare you bully a nice girl like Tabitha?"

"That's right!" shouted a familiar redhead from behind her "How dare you molest Tabitha?Am I not enough for you?" Blussing furiously she scrambled to cover her slip of the tongue"I mean dont you have any shame?Attacking sweet innocent girls like her?Inexcusable!"

"Hahahaha they got you good partner!" commented Derflinger greatly amused with Happosai's predicament and a bit annoyed that he didnt even draw him during the battle.

"Ow." Quoth Happosai getting up."But I didn't-" He started saying only to be bonked on the head by a wand this time."Ow!"

"I dont care!" Declared Louise and proceeded to hug Tabitha "I knew you were a dirty old man but I forbid you harrassing Tabitha! Is that clear?" she demanded.

"That's right" pipped in Kirche " She is an innocent knowing nothing of your beastly ways!Next time pick on someone your own size!" blussing again she added "I mean dont pick on anyone you old lech!"

"But but but!" blubbered Happosai before regaining his composure."You know something?Fine. Whatever .Im out of here." he said before stalking off muttering darkly under his breath.

Happosai was in a truly foul mood when he stomped his way back to his lair. The nerve of those girls! He was the one attacked and he was made the villain! It trully wasn't fair!At least this rotten day couldnt get any worse!

The five figures that stepped around a corner begged to differ.

"I am Jachues the Pillar of the North!"

"I am Fisk the Rose of the South!"

"I am Gracken the Jewel of the West!"

"I am Jan-Louise the Lord of the East!"

"And I am Rupert Punisher of Germania!"

That was declared by 5 rather plain faced boys in capes that denoted them as students of the school who then proceeded to draw their wands and point them to the slack jawed Happosai.

"Now that you are weakened from your fight with the valiant miss Tabitha it is our chance to end your evil ways you worthless old man!" They declared in unition.

A vain bulged in Happosai's forhead.

"For making us look like fools in front of the girls of our school you evil gnome!"

Make that a double bulge.

"For taking away the attention of fiery Kirche you cur!"

Better upgrade that to a mega bulge.

"For peeping on the girls bath and leaving us to take the blame you worthless lech!"

Upgrade it again to super bulge status.

"Take that you perverted freak!" they shouted again in unition.

Fireballs, clumps of dirt,wind blades and sheets of ice all converged on Happosai causing a big explosion and a cloud of dust to rise.

When the dust settled down the attackers were most chargined to discover that while the surrounding area had been torn up pretty badly,Happosai was untouched, surrounded in a hazy red aura and his eyes glowing like coals.

Then the ancient pervert did something that made them take a nervous step back.

He smiled.A very slow very evil smile devoid of all warmth and pity.

"Well my boys...It looks like I have to repeat my lesson." Taking a single step forward he concluded "Unfortunately for you, Louise isnt around to stop me now."

The scene that followed cannot be described due the presence of kids younger than 18 and old people older than 80. Suffice to say that shouts like "Ow my spleen!" "No NO NOOOO THE WAND DOESNT FIT IN THERE!" "Not the face! Not the face!" "AAAARGH THAT DOESNT BEND THAT WAYYYY!" along with sounds of gratuitous violence featured heavily.

"Worthless little punks" muttered Happosai dusting his hands off while leaving the carnage behind. The nerve of these whelps! Jumping him like that like he was someone to be triffled with!At least he had managed to vent some of his frustration on their unworthy carcasses.

"Um partner wasn't that a little excessive?" asked Derflinger."I mean yes they attacked you and yes they were a bunch of morons but they are just kids."

"They will be able to get out of bed in a few days and eat solid food in a week at the most. After that a few weeks of random dhiarrea and uncontrolable flatulance should drive the message home." He gestured to the pile of bodies."Believe me Derflinger.I have seen behaviour such as this before. If you dont step on it HARD from the very start it only gets worse.A lesson that worthless boy never learned." He hissed cracking his shoulders."Im to old for this schoolyard shit."

Derflinger perked up."What worthless boy would that be partner?Do tell." Any chance to learn something about its partner was to be savoured.

"Huh?" Grunted Happosai."Oh I was just remembering, my heir you could call him,from the homeworld." Taking a deep drag from his pipe he continued."He was the single bright spot in the life of my other worthless student Genma. It was his son Ranma Derflinger.I have never seen so much talent in anyone in all my years. He could have been unstoppable, a truly worthy student of my art. Girls and women flocked to him like moths to the flame and he had an aptitude for the Art that was unbelievable."

"Of course Genma managed to turn even that to a failure. Just another one in a life filled with such." Happosai was in full rant mode now lost in the past."While he had managed to actually train him halfway decently he filled the boy's head with so much crap..."Martial artists must protect the weak boy." "Honor above everything boy." "Do not abuse your power boy."...can you believe that crap?He even managed to make the boy afraid of women! He had a horde of fiancees ready and willing to catter to his every whim and he simply run away!"

"Unfortunately I met him to late to fix the damage." glumly admitted Happosai."I did my very best! But the boy had a head as thick as a rock. nothing I did could penetrate that dense mind of his. Genma is lucky I was summoned here because I was ready to take both him and the other lazy layabout Soun on a training trip they would never forget."Snapping out of it he kept walking to his abode."Believe me Derflinger if I even get back there will be hell to pay."

"Riiiight." Sweatdropped Derflinger. His master was a most peculiar man indeed. Fascinating in many ways while scary in others. he would just have to see what the future would bring.

"Ugh,this stinks."Louise complained, sniffing at her robe. Between her classes and her ongoing research in the library she had seriously neglected her personal hygiene. Off course there were maids that took care of cleaning and washing the clothes but she had not been leaving her dirty clothes in the dedicated boxes that existed for that purpose.

She was a noble damn it!This was servant work! And it wasnt like she could expect any help from her perverted Sensei/Familiar! She shuddered to think of what might beffal her smallclothes if she let that lech anywhere near them.

Ever since Siesta, the maid she had bonded somewhat with over their mutual love of fine literature and had been actually going out of her way to help her with her chores had left she had been abit stumped. She had even lost the one person she could safely vent over her perverted sensei's antics!

Speaking or rather thinking of the devil Happosai jumped in her room using the window only to get beaned by a thrown pillow.

"Use the door you lech!I may have been naked in here!" she shouted before sitting on her bed with a huff "And stop rubbing your head!I know that it didnt hurt. Maybe if the whole castle fell on you but not a simple pillow!"

"Geez what got your panties in a twist girl?" Still rubbing his bald pate Happosai let out a small chuckle. "And so you know I have seen,touched and done much better than you girl so seeing you naked wouldn't do much."

Shaking in rage Louise whipped out her wand and tried her very best to blast the damn pervert who of course managed to dodge. Forcing herself ,with supreme effort, to calm down so as to not to wreck her room yet again, she threw her wand to the side in disgust.

"Why are you here anyway you damn lech?" she asked affronted by her innability to strike him down in feminine wrath.

"Can't a concerned sensei visit his student?" Happosai held solemly his hand over his eyes."Ow the tragedy of it all!To be chased away by my very own student!"

"Stop it you lech!" Louise shouted outraged at his theatrics "And you haven't taught me anything yet! What kind of a sensei are you anyway?"

"I can't teach you if you don't sort out your magic first girl, you know that." Puffing at his pipe Happosai asked solemly "No luck with the library I take it?"

"Not a thing." Kicking her feet petulantly Louise shot him a heated glance."And it doesn't help that I keep wrecking my room. My clothes are filthy and even Siesta has vanished! Where is she anyway? I know she went somewhere but it has been days."

"Haven't you heard girl?" Taking another puff Happosai gestured out the window."Our lovely maid has had her contract bought by some fop or another.I believe Mott was the name."

"What! Count Mott? He is a worse creep than you!" Blushing under his glare she hurried to correct herself."I mean he is rumoured to be a truly despicable person not a distinguished martial arts sensei!" Hey she was miffed but even she knew not to tick Happosai off!

"I decided!" she declared "We will go to Count Mott's estate and try to get Siesta back! I will make her my personal handmaiden. At least I will have someone I know around to give me a hand."

"Heh I like it when you are decisive girl!" chackled Happosai. "But what brought this on?And how do you intend to get Mott to give her up?"

"Well Siesta has always been kind to me" admited Louise " I wouldn't want to leave her to the likes of him and I really need a personal maid!As for the how I am a Valliere! Count Mott would not dare refuse me something so small.I hope."

"Very well then girl." Happosai jumped to his feet and made for the door."I intended to check on her anyway. Let's go!"

After a while the unlikely pair started to Count Mott's estate,Louise on top of a horse and Happosai keeping pace beside her Derflinger slang over his shoulder. The sword didn't take well to being kept indoors nowadays and had insisted in joining them.

"So uh sensei."Louise broke the silence "I heard that some boys were pretty roughed up the other day. You wouldn't know anything about that would you?"

"Of course I know girl!" admitted Happosai cooly."I simply tought those delinquents to respect their elders. looks like the little example I made of Guiche didn't stick to some of the more obnoxious of your fellow brats. They had the gal to attack me. Me! Trust me girl a bit of pain now will save them a whole lot of it in the future."

"You idiot!" exploded Louise "Dont you understand that things like that reflect poorly on me?" pointing frantically back to the castle she continued "They all come from old noble families! Do you know what may happen if they complain about it?"

"Heh of course they were from old noble families. Inbred little ingrates" commented the old man remembering the example of the most noble,ancient and insane House of Kuno."Did they file any such complain though girl?"

"No" relactantly admitted Louise."In fact they said a large party of orcs somehow managed to break in in an old abandoned portion of the castle and they valiantly fought them off." looking embarassed at her fellow nobles lame excuses Louise added."Giant bloodthirsty orks who had shaman backup and teleported out before help could arrive."

"Heh! About what I expected." Commented Happosai "If there is something one can relly on is a noble's sense of pride. Those little punks will probably insist on their story and prefer to eat live coals than admit they got beat up by the poor old man they ambushed."

Louise eyed said poor old man rather dubbiously."Still you shouldn't do that." she insisted."Brawling with boys how low can one get?"

"If they have even the smallest shred of sense it will not happen again girl." Smilling cheekily he added."Never seen a young teenage boy with an ounce of sense myself but maybe in this world things are different."

Sighing Louise decided to let the matter drop. Really her sensei was such a baby sometimes...

Silence reigned for a while untill Derflinger decided to break it once again."Say partner,you talk often enough about your students but how about you? What kind of teacher produced a man such as yourself?"

"Huh It has been a long time since I thought of him truth be told." replied absentmindly Happosai."Of course alot of my learning I did myself throught trial and error or through *ahem* borrowing scrolls of various temples, dojos and such."

Happosai smiled fondly at the the memories!"I never knew his name Derflinger.I simply knew him as the Master. He was an ancient loathsome old man.A merciless slavedriver he was may his soull rot wherever it is. But the man knew his martial arts. And he had the same tastes as I do. Oh the silky darlings we collected! The countless villages we *Ahem* had visited. Truly Derflinger those were the days." Happosai waxed lirically.

Derflinger was moved almost to tears. Oh to have been there!What opportunities he would have had to better appreciate the female form between such respectable masters!Instead he had been locked up in some dusty old warehouse. Oh the unfairness of the world!

Louise for her part couldn't stop her imagination constructing a very vivid image of 2 Chibi-Happosai's chuckling madly, both carrying improbably huge sacks while in the backround huge mobs of chibi women hunted them brandishing brooms,mops and frying pans and inconsolable chibi shopkeepers wailed for the thieves to be cought.

Louise shuddered at the horrible vision and vowed to never visit Happosai's homeworld. Such a horrible place it must be to produce such monsters! Even the legendary elves would be afraid to tread lightly there.

"And what happened to such a reverent master?" Insisted Derflinger."Did he perish in a legendery duel? Or perhaps he died fighting horrors from Beyond?or maybe..."

"Ha!" snorted Happosai interrupting the swords speculation."The old fool finally got soft in the head!Imagine Derflinger if you will! He decided that there wasn't any challenges fit for him in the normal world so he breached the Hellplanes in order to steal the panties of the Succubi!He even swore to find the Panties of Everfitting!Can you imagine the mans insanity? Anyway I haven't seen him ever since and good riddance."

"Truly insane." Derflinger commended sadly."Such an end for such a great man..."

"Um I suppose walking in to hell is pretty insane alright." Commended Louise looking at both sensei and sword a bit dumbly.

"What? No I wasn't talking about that girl." Derflinger hurried to correct her."Everyone knows that succubae dont wear any underwear!What foolishness to go after something that doesn't even exist!"

"Just so!" Concured Happosai"And imagine Derflinger! He was trying to find the Panties of Everfitting,a holy artifact designed to snugly fit any posterior no matter how large or small, forged by angels in a hellplane! Everybody knows that holy artifacts of that magnitude cannot survive the hellplanes!" Sadly shaking his head Happosai patted the sword "Promise to never let me go that far Derflinger! Such a waste..."

"I promise partner!" swore Derflinger moved to tears by his masters trust. He would never let him down!

Louise for her part listened to both sword and master in horror.

To think it was she who brought them together...

What had she unleashed on the unsuspecting world?

Reaching Count Mott's estate was a subdued affair.

Happosai and Derflinger where to busy bonding over plans of future liberation of silky darlings while Louise was to horrorstricken to commend.

"Halt!" shouted one of the guards in front of the estate gate. "State your bussines!"

Shaking herself out of her stupor,Louise drew herself to her full -diminutive- height and in her most noble and haughty voice announced herself "I am Louise de Valliere! Daughter of Duke de Valliere.I am here to see Count Mott. You will take me to him right away!"

Hesitating for a moment the guard moved to bar her way."I apologise Mistress but the Count is ah... Indisposed. You will have to come at a later time." He gestured apologetically to the estate. "I am sorry but order are orders you see."

Louise was irked to say the least. How dare they turn her away without even allowing her to talk to Count Mott! Unacceptable!

Drowing her wand Louise squared her shoulders."I demand to see Count Mott at once!Who do you think you are barring my way?"Louise motioned her horse forward determined to let nothing stand in her way.

"I am afraid we will have to insist girl" replied the second guard moving to get the horses reigns."Count Mott will not be dist- URK!"

The last noice was produced by Happosai throwning the unlucky guard painfully to the wall. Having grown tired of the bickering the diminutive martial arts master swiftly sent one guard to sleep while disabling the second ones hands.

"I believe you didnt understand my boy." Happosai squared up to the suddenly pale guard "My student told you to take us to Count Mott ."

Swallowing hard the guard decided he was not getting paid even nearly well enough to cross this particular old man. He doubted the Emperor of Germania was getting paid enough.

"Off course this way."

The guard hastened to take them in the interior of the estate and up a flight of stairs. He stopped outside a room with great double doors."uh he is in here elder. May I?"

"Off course boy. You may go. After all you are just doing your job right?" happosai rather liked the respectful young man. It was rare to meet a man with sense and proper respect for his elders after all.

Nodding frantically the guard dashed down the stair and out of sight while Louise pushed open the great doors."Count Mott! I am here to..."that was as much as she was able to say before stambling to a halt, dumbfounded by the sight that greeted her.

It was Count Mott and Siesta all right.

Siesta was wearing what could be described as a maids outfit, but with a skirt so low it bordered on the indicent. It was decorated with various straps and glittery studs and had a rather deep neckline. She was seated crosslegged in a plushy armchair, toying with a rather tastfully decorated whip, watching Count Mott who was busy licking the high heeled bitch boots that completed her setup.

Count Mott on the other hand was currently kneelling in his hands and knees wearing only a few straps of leather and what appeared to be a collar. He started looking up,startled by the sudden commotion when the whip hit him across the face.  
He immediately went back to his job.

"Did I give you permission to stop you bad little doggy?" Purred Siesta running the whip down his back.

"No Mistress!A thousand apologies Mistress!" begged the noble."I should not have left anything distract me from my duty!"hurriedly he return to lavishing attention on her boot.

"I see you have been doing well girl." Happosai commented having slipped past Louise."I trust you have been treated well?"Looking around the room he took note of the lavish suroundings. Derflinger for his part simply gaped. So many new things he got to see with his master!

"Mr Happosai!" Siesta squeeled in joy."You came to visit! Yes I have been very well! When I first came here it was such a dreadfull place. But I fixed it all fast."Running her crop again over her happless victim she continued."My slave here had been such a bad doggy. He had dungeons,burly men with whips and even a few poor girls he kept in there.  
But I corrected him!"

"Didn't I you bad doggy?"Siesta asked smilling wickedly. Count Mott hurried to shake his head."You did Mistress!You did! I will never ever do it again!"

"But enough of that!"She exclaimed and kicked Mott to a corner of the room. The noble let out a very doglike yelp but said nothing else and simply curled in his corner."What brings you here mr Happosai?And miss Louise as well! Welcome! How have you been?"

Louise, cheeks on fire from what she was witnessing made a feeble attempt to state her purpose."Uh...I...I came to ask you to become my personal maid but Im not certain..."

"I accept!" Siesta shouted excuberantly."It was fun at first but I grow tired of disciplining bad dogs. After all I think I have done a rather good job, haven't I slave?"

"You have Mistress!You have! I will be the best dog from now on! I promise!" Came the shout of Count Mott who was still curled in his corner.

"You better be. Or I will be back."Siesta promised darkly."Oh Miss Louise I missed you so much!Come lets get out of here!I have so many things to tell you!" grabbing the still flabbergasted Louise by the hand Siesta dragged her out chatting amiably all the while.

Happosai fell in to step behind them chuckling all the while. It would be interesting to watch the maid's expression when she regained her mental equillibrium.

Such interesting young women this world had!

The unlikely trio plus one sentient sword were quick to return to the castle. By the time they crossed the great gates and finally got in front of the dormitory tower night had fallen and they seperated. Siesta dragged a still somewhat dazzed Louise back to her room rumbling all the while about all the exciting and fun new ways she had found to discipline "Unruly and foul noble doggies" while Happosai had excused himself and left for his own corner of the castle sharing with Derflinger tales of famous panties and the best ways to seperate them from their owners,

Unseen and unheaded by all a familiar redhead spied their return from the window of her dark room. Conflicting emotions and confusion filled her fiery and passion driven heart.

Kirche was the scion of a noble Germanian family. She had abandoned her house when they tried to marry he to an old and odious old Marquis and came to Tristain in order to live the life the fire in her blood demanded of her. True to her runic name "Ardent" she has had a number of flings, ofter one right after the other, with the young men filling the academy but none of them had been able to quench her thirst for new and powerful sensation.

That was until the fateful night when that odious,perverted, degenerate old man that was Valliere's familiar left her a twirching,quivering puddle of bliss with nothing more than a little touch. For the very first time since she knew herself to be a woman and not a child she woke up without the constant burning that plagued her constantly and had led her to the arms of various young men over the last few years.

It had been an excilarating as well as frightening experiance. Never in her life had she been so clear headed and focused.

But the fact remained. The one who had given her that was just that. An ancient old man. What wouldnt she give for him to have been a virile and powerful young man! They would have had so much fun together!(In an entirely different world a pigtailed martial artist felt a terrible chill down his spine. Strangely enough it wasnt the kind of chill that announced approaching danger but the incredibly rare one that spoke of great danger missed.)

Maybe it was time to reevaluate her priorities then. Maybe an older,experianced and powerful older man would be able to show her the meaning of passion!The problem was where to find such a man!(Just a few buildings away a balding professor spilled out of his chair,wand clenched in his hand,frantically looking around, trying to discover the danger that long unused instincts screamed he was in. It didnt help that the huge stack of books he had been researching proceeded to fall on him.)

Well until she found that special someone she would find out as much as she could for this damn old man and what he had done to her!

It took Louise a long while to get to sleep that night.

Siesta had filled her head with the most peculiar and embarasing images!This was her familiar's fault, on that she had no doubt. He had somehow taken sweet if closet pervert Siesta and turned her in to...That!

Head halfhidden in her pillow,Louise glanced at her new handmaiden and blushed again. Even in her sleep she still had that wicked little smile that never left her face all the way from Count Mott's estate.

That night Louise dreamed of bras and panties. No images of old perverts bartering with monsters nor of poor souls undergoing some kind of helish training for her.

She was again in the field with the bratrees and panty bushes and there were even more bustier women around.

But this time her sensei was there as well jumping from bratree to busty woman and from busty woman to panty bush swinging Derlfinger around and screaming that he was finally in heaven.

Derflinger for his part was as bugeyed as an ancient sentient sword can be and bubbled that this had never happened with any of his other masters.

Stupid perverted old man. Stupid perverted sword. Stupid Siesta.

She wasn't safe from perverts even in her dreams.

Louise tossed and turned in her in her bed but no matter how much she tried she kept dreaming of bras and panties


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5

"Stop pacing girl! You are giving me a headache!" Happosai was exasperated with the girl . The last few days she had been almost frantic but she denied to tell him what was going on.

After retreaving Siesta from Count Mott's estate things seemed to settle down abit.

Louise was relieved that Siesta was more back to her normal self at least . Whatever that creep Mott -or Happosai she suspected in her more paranoid moments- had done to her was at least partialy undone.

For Siesta her time in Count Mott's care seemed to have an almost dreamlike quality. Intelectually she knew that she had done all those embarassing things but her mind was doing its very best to keep her thoughts away from it. At least she had gotten rid of her modified, risque maid outfit although she had taken to wearing a small choker with the Valliere crest on it.

The single time Louise gathered the courage to ask her about it the maid's answer , accompanied by the same wicked little smile she wore when she *disciplined* Count Mott made Louise blush to the roots of her pink hair and take a vow to never , ever broach the subject again. Apparently Siesta felt that now that she was the very personal servant of *Mistress* Louise it was only fair for her to wear something that announced to the world just who she belonged to.

Yup Louise was making a lot of mental edditing herself . Especially of the way her handmaiden always seemed to be around and ask her if there was anything at all she could do for her. Yup a whole lot of mental edditing and denial there.

Finally losing what little patience he had Happosai got his students attention with the fastest way possible , namely a whack to the head.

"Ow! Hey! " protested Louise finally snapping out of her fretting and focusing at hes wierd familiar. "What are you doing you little perv... er I mean Sensei?" she demanded rubbing the sore spot on her head.

"I think its about time you told me what's going on girl. " Happosai calmly asked. "You have been restless all day and I am tired of your mumbling. " Taking a drag from his pipe fixed her with a resolute glare. "So spill! Whats going on."

Louise hesitated for a moment before relenting. "The Familiar Evaluation Fair is coming up Sensei. " She added glumly "All second years are required to present their familiars to the gathered guests. Its a big deal! "

"Aha a party huh? " Happosai mussed. "It will be nice for my old bones to have some fun. And all the pretty ladies that will be there! Heheheheheh! " Wiping a bit of drool the vile pervert focused again on Louise. "So what worries you so girl? They may have been sneering and laughing in the beggining, but surely now those worthles punks you call schoolmates surely know that you have been succesful. You have summoned me after all!" Que much puffing and strutting.

"That exactly the point!" Louise wailed. "The most important nobles will there! The Queen herself! The Princess! They will all see that I have summoned a,a,a superpowered perverted, lecherous old man. Waaaaaahhhh!"

Happosai facefallted but recovered immediately. "Ungrateful little twerp. " He muttered darkly only to brighten up again. "Still it has been years since I last liberated royal silky darlings!" he mused out loud. "Wonder if they feel as nice as those of that foreign Queen's .What was the name now? Oh yes Elizabeth! Good times! Good times! "

"You have stolen royal underwear?" Derflinger asked suitably impressed. Trully his parter was formidable!

Their attention snapped back to present thought to deal with the most disturbing situation.

Louise had her wand out and an ominous ball was already gathering at the tip. "Did I hear correctly Sensei? You intend to steal the royal undergarments?" She asked in a saccharinely sweet tone of voice. Happosai paled and took a few steps back. "Um now listen wasn't what I meant at all! I only intend to borrow them!" realising what he just said he only managed a feeble "Oooops?" before the inevitable occured.

"DIE!"

The resulting explosion propeled both ancient pervert and sword right out of the window and in to the moat.

"Blasted girl, treating a harmless old man like that" Happosai mumbled limping away from the impact site. Scrambled or not her magic still HURT!

Spotting the familiar sight of Siesta he decided to check on her. He was curious after all on how she was adjusting to her new perception of the world and newfound strength. Sliding beside her he gave her a wave. "Hello there dear! How are you today!"

"Oh Mr Happosai!" she beamed "Im fine! A little confused yet, but fine!" discretly flexing and unflexing the thick iron disk she was carrying she added. "I still cant believe it mr Happosai. Its like a dream come true." Lowering her bangs to hide her delicately blushing face she continued. "I still cant believe I did that to Count Mott though. It was so so indicent!" a small kyaaah like sound escaped her. "It was so embarassing!" she admitted.

"Yet it felt good didn't it?" Happosai chuckled "Dont worry girl! You gave him what he deserved! If you keep your head about you, no one will ever be able to walk over you ever again. "

Chuckling again at the shy nod he got in return Happosai idly checked the courtyard. It was full of students having their familiars do various tricks. Here the giant eyeball was transforming various things to stone, reinforcing his earlier belief that it was a beholder and not this stupid bugbear bussiness , there Kirche and Tabitha had their own familiars pulling various tricks with fire and wind and further away was Guiche and his huge mole apparently digging a hole.

Catching Kirche's gaze Happosai gave her a little wave that was answered with a glare and a blush. He puffed a bit of smoke feeling strangely content. For all the various problems so far things had been rather tame in comparison to Nerima. He would have to find a way to shake things up a bit again but not just yet.

Jumping back to his little student's room, he found her on her bed deep in a book mumbling again. Poking her with his pipe he asked "What is so interesting girl?"

"Urk!" Surprised again Louise let it drop. "Stop scaring me! I am just looking at a book about summons. Nothing yet." She admitted glumly. "I dont think I will find anything either. I have searched everything!"

"Well your explosions are pretty damn powerful." Happosai commented "Where I come from being able to blast someone to kingdom come is a highly regarded skill you know." Smilling cheekily he added "Off course not being able to control the blast would put a damper on things but still! Demolition companies would be all over you! "

"Why you!" Louise erupted throwing him the book. Happosai dodged laughing and opened the door to leave and let her cool down but bumped on a hooded figure .

"Um sorry about that" said the figure and darted in to the room. Happosai eyed her curiously. He was pretty certain that very few in the academy would risk coming to this room since it was his official resting place.

"It has been some time since we last met ,hasn't it Louise? " the figure said and lowered the hood.

"Princess Henrietta!" Louise gasped. "Is it really you?"

"Woah nice one!" Derflinger exclaimed putting his newfound appreciation of the fairer sex to the test. "Isn't she partner?"

Happosai of course decided to greet the new arrival in his own way.

"Hotcha! I can see the royal assets are formidable!" he exclaimed happily squizzing the royal assets in question.

"Eeeeek!" came the definately unroyal exclamation from the Princess as she tried to dislodge her new perverted and twisted accessory.

Louise gaped at the sight horrified. "Let her go you creep!" she exclaimed booting the bane of her existance to the wall.

"I am sorry you Highness! He didnt mean anything by it!" she frantically apologized while trying to calm the princess down. "My idiotic perverted familiar will answer for this I swear!"

"That is your familiar?" Henrietta asked while cluching her chest protectively. Royal assets indeed!

"Yes your Highness! I was unfortunate enough to summon the most perverted old man in existance." Louise admitted glumly.

Settling down a bit the princess eyed the strange old man that was getting to his feet curiously. Such a strange familiar to summon!

"Is that a way to treat your teacher?" Happosai whined "Have you no pity for an old man enjoying the golden years of his life?"

Louise twitched and prepared to let the old perv have it, but the princess chose to cut in curiosity getting the better of her. "Teacher? Just who are you sir and what do you teach her?" she asked cocking her her a little. "Aren't you to old to br a teacher?"

"I am Grandmaster Happosai of the Anything goes school of martial arts my dear. " Happosai posed proudly "I am her teacher in martial arts and the mysteries of the east!" glaring at Louise he added "although she is a poor student manhandling her teacher so."

"Um what are martial arts exactly?" Henrietta inquired feeling a bit lost. "Martial arts delve in the mysteries of the body and the natural energies." Happosai explained sagely. "The mysteries of the body are very important you know!"

"Mysteries of the body my foot!" Louise exploded "You haven't taught me anything yet you... " Whatever she was going to say was interrupted by the room door opening to reveal Siesta. Or more precisely Siesta in the modified maid outfit she wore in Count Mott's estate.

"Isn't it much better like this Mistress Louise?" she proclaimed happily twirling around and showing off the addition of various slender chains crisscrossing the outfit at random intervals, and then stricking a perfect hipshot pose. She then twirled the whip she carried and struck down once with a whipcrack sound. "I even found this silly old thing! Oh I am sorry Mistress I didn't notice you had visitors!" Feeling particularly naughty and not recognising the princess Siesta kneeled in front of Louise and demurely offered her the whip. "Will you punish me Mistress?"

The princess let out a soft "Oh my!" raising a hand to her mouth and slightly blushing at the sight. "You surely have come a long way since we were playing together as childred Louise." she commended. Louise for her part was frozen for a moment before she started sputtering denials. "No no no!This isn't! I mean I dont!" Only to be cut of once again by the door slamming open again revealing this time a flushed and flastered Kirche wielding her wand.

"You have a lot of nerve Zero!" she exclaimed brandishing her wand threateningly. "sending that dirty old man in my room and doing all those things to me and then have him taunt me like that!"

Everyone in the room tensed but it was Siesta who took down the angry redhead. One moment she was on her knees, the other she was across the room, disarming Kirche with a flick of the whip and then bringing her to her knees with a hit in the midsection. While Kirche struggled for breath Siesta was quick to get behind her and place the handle of the whip diagonally across her neck while slipping a hand to her belly.

"You have a lot of nerve, bursting in to my Mistress's room and threatening her." Siesta whispered in Kirche's ear, running the side of her whip up the readhead's chin and running her free hand slowly over her exposed belly. "You have been very naughty miss Zerbst." Letting her breath carress the readhead's ear she felt her shudder. "I think you must be punished." she added in a rather husky tone of voice earning another shudder from the beliegered noblewoman.

For a moment the only noise in the room was Kirche's laboured and shuddering breath before the princess reached the entirely wrong conclusion.

"Oh my..." she said, hidding her fiercely blushing face in her hands and sneaking a sidelong glance to the once again frozen Louise "Louise Fancoise! I knew the Valliere and Zerbst families were feudding for centuries but dont you think you went a bit to far? Bringing a merital arts master to train you and a... subjugation specialist to assist you sexually dominate miss Zerbst ?" Blushing even harder the princess looked around. "And luring her in your room like that! How bold!"

"NO! no no no! Its not like that!" Louise started sputtering yet again. "I didn't do anything like that! Tell them someone!" she pleaded desperately.

"My,Louise!" Kirche commented breathlessly from her spot "I always knew you wanted to see me on my knees , but I never thought you would be so bold!" Marshalling her pride the redhead raised her head defiantly. "Even if you have me at a disadvantage, I am a Zerbst! I will not submit that easily!" Glancing to the princess she added "And you even brought the princess to witness! A voayeur as well Valliere? I guess they are right when they say you should fear the quiet ones! "

Siesta for her part tagged sharply at the readhead's hair eliciting another gasp. "Such disrespect! I believe I will enjoy disciplining you!" Turning her eyes to Louise she pleaded "Please Mistress allow me to show her the error of her ways! I promise I will be most thorough!"

Louise backpeddaled shaking her head frantically only to stamble on Happosai. Turning to the diminutive pervert she came face to face with his improbably huge and moist eyes. "My beloved student! I take back everything I said earlier! You are truly a worthy disciple of my art!" Happosai burst to tears as he hugged Louise "You were so sublte I didn't even know what was happening! I am so proud of you!"

An inquisitive "Kyui?" from outside the window revealed a new arrival to the drama. Tabitha was hovering outside the window onboard Sylphid. Taking in the situation at a brief glance the bluette apparently decided she didn't even want to know what was happening and nudged the dragon away.

Louise finally reaching her breaking point punted Happosai under the bed. "You!" she pointed to Siesta "let her go! now! "As Siesta reluctantly released her captive Louise added "Go get changed right now!" Bowing gracefully Siesta left the room.

Louise then turned to Kirche "As for you Zerbst I dont know what got in to you and barged in my room like that but you will leave right now as well!" The redhead rose on still wobbly feet and decided that for now she would retreat. "Don't blame yourself Valliere." she said as she started slowly retreating from the room. "Even the best plans can fail due to chance. That said I will not underestimate you again" Getting out of the room she added to herself "Such devious mind to such a tiny body... She almost got me!"

"And what about me Louise Fancoise?" inquired the princess."What are your plans for poor little me?" Henrietta had to supress a giggle as she saw her childhood friend blush furiously and start stuttering again. She was so much fan to tease!

"Your highness! Its all a huge misunderstanding! All of it!" Louise desperately declaired. How had everything gotten so out of control? It had to be Happosai's fault!

"So you didn't lure miss Zerbst in your room to dominate her?" Henrietta asked innocently."NO!" yelped Louise "Please your Highness you have to believe me!I am not a depraved sexual predator! I swear!"

"Relax Louise. I dont know what exactly happened here but what you do in your free time is none of my bussiness." A misschievious glint could be seen in Henrietta's eyes as she added "I should apologise for interrupting your fun!"

"Now be as it may I must go." The princess stepped out of the room as well. "It was good to see you again Louise!" With that she put her cloak on again and departed.

Louise was left as stiff as an corpse. Kirche thought she was trying to to to do THAT with her, the princes thought she was some kind of depraved sexual deviant and Tabitha... Who knew what Tabitha thought! And it was all one little perverts fault! "HAPPOSAI !" she belowed as she overturned the bed to get to the little pervert.

Said little pervert off course was long gone with Derflinger in tow. Happosai had taken refuge on top of the dormitory tower chuckling evilly. Embarassing your students was a fine and important Anything goes tradition after all!

The festival itself was surprisingly a rather subdued afair.

Happosai had simply gone out on stage, gave everybody a rather cheeky wave and departed. There were a few derisive remarks from the crowd, but those came mostly from the newcomers. By now the vast majority of the students knew that Happosai, appearences aside, was not someone to be crossed lightly and refrained from comment positive or otherwise.

Unfortunately it only served to fuel Louise's rapidly developing paranoia. Why hadn't the little pervert done anything? No attempts to grope anyone,no underwear missing, nothing! And of course there were the rather peculiar stares she recieved from Kirche. Rather peculiar and inapropriate stares, that made her lower her head in shame. Damn that little creep for putting her to such an awkward position! She didn't swing that way damn it! No matter how good it would feel to show that Germanian slut her proper place!

No NO bad thoughts! Bad, bad thoughts!

Louise turned her laserlike stare on Happosai who was puffing away at his pipe without a care in the world chatting with that perverted sword of his. To think that it was she who got it for him! Oh the Horror of it all!

"You could have done something you know." She said to him pettulantly "All the other familiars did something at least! The princess was very impressed with some of the other familiars." Kicking a lose stone she kept going. "Why didn't you... I dont know do something flashy? You are a martial arts master aren't you? We could have been the center of attention! Instead the Festival is over and I have nothing to show for it !"

"Well..." Happosai hedged "Most of my "flashy" moves are rather destructuve girl." Giving her a rather intimidating glare he added "After all I am not a showpiece for you to drag around..." His face contorting with a rather disturbing leer he gave a little gesture "Off course I suppose I could have given the ladies an experience they would have never forgotten. Bwahahahahaha!"

"Why you little creep!" Louise started angrily "I want to be noticed as a great mage! Not for your perversion and lechery!" Picking up steam Louise started to harangue him only to be cut off by his sudden question.

"Tell me girl is it usual for someone to have a bigass rock golem pounding at the Academy wall?" He asked, eyes looking somewhere behind Louise.

"What!" Louise yelped twirling around to follow his gaze.Y es there was a huge golem a few hundred feet away pounding at the castle wall, without any apparent success. "That is where the Academy Vault is at! It must be a thief!" Drawing her wand Louise stepped forward. "Quick we must stop him!" she urged.

"Hold it there girl." Happosai cautioned yanking her back. "If it is a thief then what of it? He had done nothing to us and besides" he pointed "that is an awfully big golem. Do you really want to go up against something like that?"

"What are you saying?" Louise demanded "As a noble and a student of the academy it is my duty to defend the grounds and catch the thief ! " Rushing forward Louise started chanting raising her wand to the golem. The cloacked thief , perched on the golems shoulder, was so intent on demolishing the wall that didn't notice he was under attack until a shout of "Fireball!" made him look around and notice the pink haired girl and the strange old man.

Amazingly enough the blast of magic missed the golem and only clipped it on the shoulder but thouroughly demolished the wall. The thief, startled by the sudden attack, was quick to take advantage of the opportunity and quickly entered the demolished vault.

"Wow you really can shoot can't you?" Happosai remarked pointing at the golem, before turning to Louise and poking her rather harshly with his pipe "For gods sake girl how can you miss a hundred foot tall golem? That's pathetic!" Louise winced at the rebutal but was quick to counter. "Hey give me a break will you? Its not like I do this every day!"

In the meanwhile the thief had grabbed a blanket wrapped object and remounted the golem's shoulder. "Thanks a lot for the door!" He shouted cheerfully "but you did try to hit me. Its only fair to return the favour isn't it?" with that he urged the giant golem forward and covering the distance quickly raised its fist for a truly devastating strike.

Louise froze in place in the face of her imminent death while Happosai , eyeing the size of the golem, discarted his pipe and drew Derflinger for the first time, flooding it with ki and jumped sword first shouting "Breaking Point!" hoping to be able to shatter the rock fist descending on them. At least that was the plan.

In reality the moment he drew the sword, the runes in his hand flared a bright green and added a good sized magic boost to the ki he channeled in the blade. The result was rather impressive. The golem practically dissintegrated from the neck down in a huge explosion that scattered everyone away .

The thief was lucky enough to land in one piece with his loot in hand and was quick to summon another golem. Happosai and Louise on the other hand were blasted backwards,L ouise in a stunned heap while Happosai a bit dissorientated by the unexpected backlash of having his ki and the magic from the tattoo mix .

The thief stood undecided for a few seconds but an attack with icicles from the newly arrived Tabitha made him decide that at this point descretion was the better part of valour and had his golem beat a hasty retreat.

Tabitha chose not to pursue and after shooting an intense stare at Louise and Happosai hopped on Sylphid and cleared the scene. Louise reagained her senses shortly afterwards and looked around only to find Happosai examining thouroughly his runes and Derflinger asking him what he did to it because it tickled. How on earth can one tickle a sword anyway.

Happosai paused in his examination of the runes and gave Louise a glare. "I thought that things would be quiet in this school of yours girl but clearly I was mistaken. " He said thoughtfully. " Well I guess things were getting a bit boring anyway... " Giving Louise a hand he started leading her towards the school."And of course we have to talk about your training. "

Louise felt a chill at his words. "Um training sensei?" She asked hesitantly. "What about my magic?"

"Oh magic is good and all." Happosai said giving her a rather disturbing grin "But if you are to go of, ignoring your loving sensei and attacking people on walking mountains, I suppose I have no choice but to start training you in order to cope with it. " Giving her a truly sininter stare he added. "Aren't you grateful my student? "

Louise wimpered but wispered anyway "Yes Sensei."

Happosai nodded and kept dragging her to the castle. It wouldn't do for his new student to be turned to a pancake after all. It wouldn't do at all.

It took some time for them to get away from the confusion that followed the thief's attack. Questions had to be asked, explanations had to be given and gawkers had to be satisfied until the Headmaster stepped in and ordered all students back to their rooms.

That was where Happosai and Louise sat now. Happosai was close to the window overlooking the courtyard, puffing away at his pipe as usual while Louise sat on her bed waiting for the harranguing that was sure to follow to begin .

"So girl" Happosai begun still gazing out of the window " care to tell me what you did wrong back there?"

Louise, depression evident in her posture and voice, hang her head. "I screwed up again. I was to weak to do anything sensei. Just a Zero after all ." She would have continued in this vein for some time but Happosai's incredulous laughter cut her off.

"You really are a piece of work girl" he commended turning to face her." From all the things I expected to hear this was the last. Have no dought girl you may be many things but weak?" Snorting derisively Happosai gestured vaguely outside the window "Setting aside the fact that you summoned me and that I can literaly see how powerful you are, what did you do in the fight girl?"

"Um I missed with my spell?" Louise answered, confusion evident in her face. Happosai sighed at how clueless she was. "Yes girl you missed. And then your spell completely and utterly demolished a wall that a huge golem was trying to crack with no success whatsoever. "Giving her a wry grin he continued "A wall that belonged to the supposedly unbreachable Academy vault. Tell me is there anyone in this miserable excuse of a magic school that would have been able to do what you did? "

Louise sat there thunderstruck. it was true! That wall was supposed to be so tough that it would need a team of high level mages to breach much less reduce to rubble !

"And that brings me to the real issue." Happosai gave her an unusually serious look. "How did it feel like girl? When that stone fist descended on you where you ready to die?" Louise was rattled by his blunt question but answered nonetheless " I was scared sensei. " She admitted lowering her gaze and more faintly "I was afraid and I would have died if you were not there. Why did he do it sensei ? Why did he try to kill me ? He had what he wanted to get. Why try and kill me?"

"Because you gave him no way out girl. " Happosai replied harsly raising a hand to forbid any protest. "When you foolisly rushed in and attacked girl, something you didn't have to do I may add, the thief saw what I saw. Someone tried to pulverise him with an attack that blew up a wall that by rights should have been unbreakable. Tell me girl what would happen if your attack landed anywhere near our thief? " Louise paled with horror, understanding dawning at long last.

"So you see girl" Happosai said softly " The thief got what he wanted but would he dare turn his back to someone that has already tried to kill him? Would you? " Seeing her mute nod he concluded in a rather grim note "That is why girl. By your own actions you caused someone who may have been content to simply grab his loot and leave to try and eliminate you. Aren't you happy that someone took you seriously ?"

Seeing Louise on the verge of tears Happosai decided to relent. The girl had a rough day and there was alway tommorow. Stepping out of the room he gave her one last thing to chew on "Remember girl when you kill someone you cannot go back.T hink carefully before you act the next time ."

That night Louise de Valliere slept the heavy dreamless sleep of the dead.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

It was the day after the robbery. Happosai for all his displeasure decided to let the girl sleep. There would be time enough to at least start addressing her shortcomings in regards to aiming and purpose. For now he had his own problems. In particular a tattoo-shaped problem in his right arm.

Hidden in a small grove of trees some distance away from the academy Happosai placed Derflinger opposite him, perched in a tree and settled down to meditate. Meditation wasn't something he frequently did. After all his was an art of speed and action, not the worthless and endless selfreflection of priests and mistics but there were some actions where turning inward was the only option. Quickly finding his center the ancient martial arts master focused on the summoning tattoo he had so foolishly disregarded as simply a visual representation of his contract with Louise.

Directing his ki in the pathways surrounding the tattoo he was surprised at the depth the magic has managed to penetrate and twist around his spiritual essence. There was a connection there, deeper than a simple summoners bond, a connection that seemed to draw on a different source than his ki or that of the world. He fed some of his ki experimentaly in the tattoo but nothing happened. He then hefted Derflinger, but even with the sword in hand there was simply a slight green glow in the tattoo, nothing like the surge he experianced last night.

Further experimentation didn't add much in the way of results so he reluctantly let it be for the time being. Still he knew now that the tattoo was not only the visual representation of his bond with Louise but also a conduit of magic. Granted the conduit seemed to be active only when he wielded a weapon but for him that never had a shred of magic to call his own it was a huge deal.

"You seem rather troubled partner." Derflinger remarked shaking him out of his musings. "Oh its nothing much Derflinger. I just discovered that my summoning tattoo has taken root to my system and is prone to giving me random amounts of magic." Happosai replied just a tad ironically. "Nothing much to worry about is there?"

"Why is that a problem partner?" Derflinger's curiosity was now piqued. The sword had felt a surge like nothing else it had ever felt last night when Happosai blew up the golem. "From what I saw and felt last night it seemed to make that much stronger. Surely that is not a cause for alarm is it?"

"At first glance it may not seem like it Derflinger" Happosai admitted taking a long drag from his everpresent pipe "but you are missing a few critical facts. I am well in to my fourth century my friend and I got here with the precise and regimented control of my ki." Pulling out a bra from thin air and proceeding to rub it vigorously to his cheek he added "And my silky darlings of course! Muahahahaha!" Puffing a dollop of smoke he concluded "You can understand I think why I am nervous about unknown amounts of magic running rampart in my system. It may be beneficial or it may undo the work of centuries. There is no way to tell."

Derflinger struggled to understand this. In the swords experiance magic was generally beneficial to its wielders unless of course you tried to use more than you could handle or something like that. Then things tended to get messy.

"Well I dont really understand that ki of yours partner but I am certain it will work out in the end." Picking up the sword and sheathing it behind his back Happosai started his way back to the castle. He didn't exactly share the sword's optimism but there was nothing he could do about it yet.

He got back to the castle just in time for Louise to spot him and drag him with her to the Headmasters office. Apparently Old Osmond was set and determined to learn all that he could about the thief from last night. Glancing around Happosai saw that Tabitha was also in attendance as well as Kirche. He smirked when he met her eyes only for the readhead to scowl at him and turn her attention back to the proceedings. Most of the teaching stuff was there as well if he was any judge, gossiping and making a nuisence of themselves.

Happosai noticed with growing amusement that a mouse of all things darted from under Old Osmonds robe and started peaking under the skirts of the gathered females. Apparently the greenhaired secretary noticed as well and tried to squash the mouse without much success. Noticing Happosai's mirth she huffed and glared at him. His reputation as an unredeemed pervert had started to spread it seems.

Old Osmond unfurled noisily a scroll distracting everyone from his peeping mouse and coughed noisily presumably to give more gravity to the situation. "Ladies and gentlemen" he started gravely "after much research by Miss Longueville we managed to uncover the identity of the thief that struck last night." Raising the scroll for everyones inspection he gestured at the sketch of a houded figure. "We believe that the thief was Fouquet that has been harrasing nobles for some time now."

The name caused a hubbub of exclemations and gasps from the gathered. Old Osmond raised a hand to silence the throng and pressed on. "What's more the thief managed to steal a priceless artifact from the vault. The Staff of Destruction no less reputed to be able to slay a three-headed dragon with one shot." Sweeping the crowd with his gaze the headmaster made an impassionate plea "As you can understand it is a vital matter for the academy to retrive the Staff. There is no telling what mischief Fouquet may cause with a weapon like that! So I would like to ask for volunteers to retrieve it."

Voices of skepticisism and denial started emerging from the gathered. Some were of the opinion that the thief would be already far away by now while others said that it was the job of the guard and not students and teachers.

Happosai was idling watching the mouse's antics that by now had looked under every single female robe and was making its way back to its master so he was caught by surprise when Louise stepped forward and volunteered her services and by extention his. "I will go!" she hastily proclaimed causing the hubbub to increase. A moment later Kirche stepped forward as well giving Louise a mischevious smile. "I will go as well! I cant let a Valliere get all the credit can I?" Louise gave her a glare but seemed a bit relieve as well.

To everyone's surprise Tabitha stepped forward as well. She quietly stated that it was a rather interesting situation and she would participate as well.

Happosai shook his head in exasperation. The girl was diving again headfirst in to an affair that had nothing to do with her and what's worse she volunteered! Everyone with half a brain knows that you never ever volunteer for anything! On the other hand this Staff of Destruction sounded pretty interesting. Many things could happen in a mission like this. Even this legendary Staff could be displaced in the chaos right?

Old Osmond smiled proudly at his brave students. "So we have the three of you then! Miss Tabitha even so young is a chevalier so she should be a great help." At that everyone in the room was startled. Happosai looked at the girl with renewed interest. It looked like it was a title of a fighter and not simply a noble. "As for miss Zerbst as we all know her family is famous for its famous fire mages." Kirche puffed up her chest at that.

Unfortunately that turned out to be a rather big mistake since she provided the perfect distraction for a rather bored Happosai.

Louise looked on with horror as that damn old pervert dived right in the readhead's breasts causing a chain reaction of shouts, screams and futile efforts to dislodge him from his new resting place.

It was only some time later that everything settled down again and the Headmaster who was sporting a rather suspicious nosebleed could properly organise them and give them instructions.

"Well Miss Valliere" he started gesturing to his secretary "Miss Longueville has managed to get information about the thief's location. If you are fast you may be able to intercept him before he escapes. " Giving a rather dubious glance at Happosai he added "Since you and your familiar were able to chase off the thief last night with the help of Miss Zerbst and Miss Tabitha I feel you have a rather good chance of apprehending him."

Miss Longueville chose that instant to step forward as well. "I will go with them to guide them to the location if you dont mind Headmaster." she decleared stomping at the mouse that was trying to sneak another peak up her skirt."It is the least I can do since I am the one to find his hideout after all" throwing a rather heated glare at Happosai she added "It is my responsibility to the students to guide and protect them from unexpected danger." Such as perverted old men she didn't add.

Happosai simply smiled rather contently. This promised to be good.

They set out a little time later, riding on a rather rickety wagon drawn by two horses. The wagon was driven by Miss Longueville, Tabitha, Kirche and Louise riding at the front while Happosai was thrown in the back of the wagon after the customary by that point threats of what would happen if he dared start his perverted antics again. Above them flew Sylphid scouting out the surrounding area while they left Flame behind since the salamander was to big to fit with the rest.

"You know" Louise pointed out to Kirche "you dont really have to be here. I and my familiar are perfectly capable of taking care of the thief." Sniffing arrogantly she added "We did run him of after all last night."

"Ow little Louise is so adorable when she gets all superior!" Kirche exclaimed pulling Louise to her breasts.

Ignoring the duo's shenanigans and Louise's frantic efforts to pull herself free Miss Longueville turned her attention to Happosai. "So Mr Happosai how did you destroy the golem last night anyway?" She asked slyly "I thought you were not a mage but to destroy something like that..."

"I am a martial arts master my dear. That big hunk of stone was nothing to me!" Happosai bragged puffing up for the sake of the pretty lady that was paying attention to him as was his due after all!

"Well I am certain you have a lot of abilities to call upon Mr Happosai but how exactly did you blow it up?" She insisted and noticed that the girls had stopped their squabling and were leaning closer to hear as well.

"Well I used my ki along its natural stress points and blew it up my dear. Its not like the thief used any king of magic to reinforce its structure. It was just a big slab of stone" Happosai explained ommiting the fact that his strike had been magically reinforced.

"Is that so..." Ms Longueville speculated "Sounds interesting..."

They reached the location, an abandoned building pretty soon and spead out in order to find the thief or his loot. Ms Longueville took the back of the building while the rest chose to go through the front.

Carefully opening the door they seperated and started searching the various rooms and it only took them a minute to find the box with the Staff of Destruction. While the girls started cheering and backslapping each other Happosai lit his pipe and calmly looked around.

Louise seeing him tense asked "What's the matter? We found the box aren't you happy? "Happosai grunted and gave a rather terse reply. "I am simply waiting for the ambush to be sprung my dear."

That brought the cheers to a grinding halt. "Ambush? What ambush?" They demanded in perfect syncronisation .At least Louise and Kirche did for Tabitha had already drawn her wand and was stoically looking around as well.

A screech from Sylphid and the gratting of stone on stone was all they needed to understand what was going on. "That ambush." Happosai pointed at the huge golem or at least the part that could be seen from the window. Wasting no time gapping at the sight the ancient martial arts master blew a hole at the back wall of the house and practically threw out both the girls and the box before following them.

Whatever protests the girls may have expressed over their undignified manhandling were drowned out by the hit from the massive golem that colapsed the building they were in only moments later.

Shooing them away and on board the dragon that had already touched down besides them Happosai took stock of the golem and did not like what he saw at all. As the dragon took off he slowly drew a rather startled Derflinger from its sheath. "Partner? I thought you said there would be a problem if you mixed magic with your ki?" Querried the sword.

"Problem yes." Admitted Happosai dodging several tons of angry golem that bore down on him. "But our thief has reinforced this thing with a whole lot of magic this time." He added jabbing at the golem's leg with Derflinger and shouting "Breaking Point!"

The result was rather substandard as a small cratter was blasted on the leg and was regenarated in moments with dirt. "It looks like our thief learned his lesson the first time and actually made an actual effort in making his puppet this time." Happosai grunted as he avoided the golem's furious blows. For someone like him it was childs play to avoid the behemoths swings but his every retaliation was regenarated in seconds. Even when the girls joined in with blasts of fire, ice and explosions in Louise's case the golem was able to regenarate the damage and retaliated by throwing bulders at the circling dragon.

"At this rate we will be here all night partner!" Derflinger exclaimed after another ineffectual jab. "Tell me about it" grunted Happosai drawing at his reserves and blowing up the head of the golem only to have it regenerate once again. He jumped away as Tabitha managed to actually bury the titans legs in ice and scowled. It looked like he would have to actually pull out the big guns for this stone puppet! Unbelievable!.

Looking around he spotted the box of the Staff of Destruction lying open on the ground and he boggled. A rocket launcher? Here? Happosai may have been adamant about the superiority of martial arts over everything else but was not stupid. He kept in touch with the ever advancing weapons that were produced. After a rather unfortunate encounter he had right after World War 2 involving the stolen underwear of the housewifes of an american naval base , the appropriation by said enraged housewifes of the battleship Misouri and the introduction of said battleships 16 inch gun broadside with his unfortunate self Happosai was rather weary of things that went boom. It had taken him after all a full year to get back on his feet after that particular escapade.

Coming to a decision Happosai gathered his ki and jabbed at the ground in front of the golem creating a sizable crater and immobilazing it for a few crucial seconds. Enough time for him to scamper to the rocket launcer and for Louise to cast a powerful spell.

With a shout of "Fireball!" she actually managed to hit the golem dead center and blow up a sizable chunk out of it but the golem started recovering even from that blow. That is until Happosai aimed the rocket launcher and blew the damaged construct to kingdom come.

It took some time for them to gather their witts after the battle. Tabitha and Kirche were chatting exitedly, well Kirche was bubbling actually about their great victory while Tabitha was reading her everpresent book while Louise had a somewhat dazed smile plastered in her face. She has done it! She managed to crucially contribute to their victory! She didn't even miss this time!

Happosai had discarted the rocket launcer and was dusting himself off when Longueville decided to show up. She was a rather wierd sight he noticed, pale with sweat beading at her forehead she swayed a bit as she came near. "Are you alright my dear?" He asked with a hint of concern.

Miss Longueville straightened up, took a deep breath and proceeded to pick up the rocket launcher pointing it at the groups direction.

"What are you doing?" Louise asked nervously drawing the attention of Kirche and Tabitha as well.

"Drop your wands." She ordered casually. "And dont make any funny moves" she added nodding to Happosai.

The girls moved to obey while Happosai sighed and merely took a long puff from his pipe. "Let me guess. You are the thief Fouquet." He looked at her mournfully "Why is it always the most interesting pretty ladies are up to no good?"

Fouquet smirked doubtlessly emboldened by the Staff of Destruction one her shoulder. "I must admit I was worried when you blew up my golem the first time." She admitted "I had to put a lot of my willpower to fashion something that would force you to use the Staff of Destruction gandalfr but now I know how to use it so it all ends well for me."

She glared at Louise and came to a decision. "Normally I would let you go but that little pest has already demonstrated that she is capable of reducing my golem to rabble and with her spells. I simply can't risk you following me, not after the willpower I have already expended today." Taking careful aim she smirked and added "Off course the fact that I will be getting rid a disgusting old pervert in the bargain is a bonus in my book. Goodbye Gandalfr. " with that final word she pushed the trigger.

And nothing happened.

Franticaly she started pushing the trigger again and again while Happosai not smilling anymore started pulling loop after loop of rope from somewhere on his person.

"You know girl" Happosai commended starting to advance slowly "That weapon you try to use is like a bow. It only has one projectile." Grinning demonically he added "And I used it."

Fouquet tried to bring her wand to bare but Happosai was uppon her in an instant and soon afterwards she found herself with both hands tied behind her while her entire bpdy was crisscrossed with ropes. Ropes that had rather big and elaborate knots in rather intimate places.

Happosai took a step back and admired his handiwork while the fearful girls gathered around their would be killer. "So!" he idly commended poking the greenhaired bundle with his pipe causing her to squirm and the ropes and knots to start chaffing at various sensitive places. "A disgusting pervert am I my dear? I was always lenient with pretty ladies but it looks like a lesson is in order to teach you to respect you elders."

He threw her bodily in the back of the wagon motioning for Tabitha and the girls to get on and they reluctantly obeyed.

"You bastard! I am going to kill you when I get out of this!" Fouquet snarled as she attempted to change her facedown posture and started struggling with her bindings only to stop abruptly when those knots really started to dig in her sensitive bits.

"You really really need an attitude adjustment girl." Happosai idly commented poking her again. "It is fortunate that Granfather Happosai is here to deliver!" with that he slapped her ass hard with the flat of Derflinger.

"Ow! What the hell?" Fouquet yelped.

"Um Sensei is that really neccesary?" Louise asked her mouth going dry at the sight of the dreaded Fouquet helpless at her feet. Kirche snorted at that "Neccesary? The bitch tried to kill us!" turning to Happosai with eyes burning she added "She definately deserves everything she gets! What I am interested to know is what is this bondage gettup. Something you cooked up?"

"Me?" Happosai pulled this time at the ropes earning another yelp from his hapless prisoner. "Alas no my dear. This is the noble art of shibari used by japanese nobles to restrain their prisoners and evolved to give great pleasure...or pain if applied correctly." he leered at Fouquet "And I happen to be a master of this art as well."

"You let me go this instant and I may, MAY, let you live you damn perv-OW" Fouquet cried out as Kirche this time slapped her aching posterior. "Kirche you Germanian slut you are so going to get it when I get out of this!" Fouquet snarled again only to cry out as Tabitha turned and shoved her with her staff causing her weight to shift and the ropes dig in to her already aching flesh.

"Now we are getting to the good part." Happosai added turning to Kirche "Tell me my dear how many strokes would be fair for the discomfort she caused you?" Kirche tapped her finger at her lips and smiled as well. "I thing twenty would do for a start. She did try to kill me after all. And that slut remark wasn't very nice." Grabbing the prone woman by the hair she whispered to her ear "You better start counting you skunk."

Slap!

Fouquet pitched forward as the first hit landed. "I am going to have you hide for this!" she screamed as the ropes dug in again.

"Such disrespect..." Happosai sighed and slapped the woman's abused posterior as well. "You better start counting my dear. You are still at one after all and I think the darling girl fully intends to have her measure of restitution."

"OW! one!" Fouquet shouted. Slap! "Ow! Two for Brimir's sake!" she hastily added as Kirche slapped her again. "AH! Three! Merciful god! Ow! Four! Four for pity's sake!"

"Now you are getting it my girl..." Happosai murmured and poked her with Derflinger who was a blubbering wreck by this point mumbling that THIS was most certainly not his original function. Fouquet flinched away and predictably the ropes and knots chaffed her tender flesh even more.

"You dirty bastards..." sobbed Fouquet composure starting to crack under the relentless assault "Ow! Five!" she yelped "Six! You filthy deviants Im going to -OW! Seven!" she kept counting as Kirche continued dolling out her punishment enthusiastically.

"What do you know...She can learn after all..." Happosai approved running Derflinger across her flank. "As you can see its harsh to teach others the proper respect they have to show their elders my dear student." He told Louise who was staring buggeyed at the scene before her.

"Ah! Eight! Your ass is mine you damn gnome! Ow! Nine!" Fouquet responded tugging at her bonds "Ten! You fucks!" Her eyes widened in panic as Happosai went behind her and Kirche came to her line of sight "No! Please no more! Please!" She pleaded frantically. The only response she got was the flat of Derflinger on her ass again. "OW! Fuck you you noble worms! Eleven!"

"Good girl! But you still have a way to go!" Happosai approved and took advantage of the chance to caress her posterior before landing another hit with Derflinger that had fallen silent. If the poor sword was able of a nosebleed the wagon would have been painted red.

"DAMN! Twelve! Get your hands of m-OW! Thirteen! Let go of-Aw! Fourteen! Stop rubbing my ass you ugly little-OW Fifteen! I dont know how or where but I will get you for this! Sixteen! AIE! You noble pigs I will get even if that is the last thing I do! Seventeen!" Fouquet screamed with tears running down her cheeks. "OW! Eighteen! ...AIEE! Nineteen! ...Twenty! Finally..." She sobbed.

"Is that enough my dear?" Happosai asked Kirche who had a rather scary smile on her face. "I guess...for now..." She regarded the prisoner a rather imperious sniff "After all its no fair to hog all the fun is it?"

"WHAT!" Fouquet screamed raising her eyes only to see Tabitha climbing to the back of the wagon and giving Kirche her place and the reigns of the horses.

It was a rather odd group that passed the gates of the academy some time later. In the front of the small wagon Tabitha was guiding the horses to the nearby stable a faint blush and an even fainter smile gracing her pale features. Right beside her Kirche could be seen hugging an beet red Louise to her chest while wispering to her ear and in the back of the wagon Happosai was enjoying his living cushion making himself comfortable at the middle of her back. Said living cushion was swearing vengeance against all of them but strangely enough tried to remain as still as possible and not dearing to even try and turn since her ass stung something fierce by then.

Finally the group was ushered before the headmaster who was surprised to say the least with his secretaries condition. Explanations were given , the Staff of Destruction was returned to the vault and Fuqouet was turned over to the guards. Happosai was rather miffed at losing his living cushion but was rather philosophical about it. He had gotten a substantial charge after all and he had a feeling that this wasn't the last time he would encounter the lovely Ms Longueville.

He tuned out Old Osmond's babbling about tittles and medals and slipped back to his corner of the castle for some well earned rest.

Later that night Louise collapsed on her bed in a rather good mood. She had done it! She actually used her magic in a constractive way! She may have not been able to properly cast the Fireball spell but even that way she managed to critically wound a golem that gave even Happosai trouble! She would be made a chevalier for her contribution in capturing Fouquet , a title given only to the most puissant of fighters and mages! Let the creeps that called her a Zero try and put her down now!

Off course it wasn't all rainbows and sunshine either. That damn Kirche tried to seduce her during the Figg ball and even had the gal to propose a threesome with Tabitha! Tabitha off course turned her in to an icicle for that little proposal but some boys overheard her and now a rather nasty rumour was making the rounds that she was actually a closet lesbian! Only in their dreams the damn perverts! All that talk could do wierd things to ones mind.

At least that was what she said herself after abruptly waking up in the middle of the night , drenched in sweat and a rather vivid image of red hair , dusky skin , husky moans and featureless , shadowy figures hung like horses still in her mind.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7

Louise carefully lifted her head out of the bush she had found refuge in. Nothing to the left. Nothing to the right. She carefully took stock of her surroundings and satisfied that noone was in sight, crawled over behind a large tree and permitted herself to relax just a tiny bit.

It had been a few days after the fight with Fouquet and many things have happened. She had been knighted, there were less jeers and taunts at school and Happosai had started training her which brought her to her current predicament.

Happosai's training regime was simplicity itself. He would burst in to her room at random intervals during day or night and if she failed to whip out her wand and blow the little pervert up he would tie her up in her own blanket and carry her away in the forests surrounding the Academy.

There he would leave her in a clearing or something on whatever clothes she happened to wear at the moment of her abduction and tell her to find her way back to the academy. While the damned old pervert somehow rounded up every wolf, jackal and wild boar in the forrest and set it on her trail. Oh and lets not forget that he would pop up from time to time to steal her underwear and foddle her if he felt that his student was "Slacking off".

On the upside this had made Louise very fast in the draw indeed! Running for your life from slavering wolves determined to make you their next lunch or from bigass hairy pigs trying to gore you for looking at them wrong had honed her reflexes to a hairtrigger. As soon as something broke cover and tried to eat her her wand would be out and a spell away in a fraction of a second. No more concentration, no more hemming or hawing on which spell she would try just big explosions and animal parts all over the place. The forest itself have acquired a few new clearings on spots where wolf packs had come a bit to close to making Louise-kebbob out of her.

On the other hand this whole *training regime* had left her nerves in a rather delicate state. Some of her less charitable classmates would call her paranoid but who listened to them right? Right!

Who cares if startling, making sudden movements in her presence , bumping on her , or just plain staring at her the wrong way was likely to have a rather explosive response and a hurried trip to the water mages in the infirmary. After all that unfortunate first year that tapped her in the back to get directions would be out of traction in a few weeks and with any luck the gardener she had failed to notice during her walk in the academy garden and chose the most unfortunate moment to raise his head from the roses he had been tending to would eventually get back on his feet. Everyone had the right to overeact a bit right? Right!

Those were the thoughts of Louise Franηoise Le Blanc de La Valliθre as she left the cover of her tree. "Damn old pervert." She mumbled under her breath, taking care to cover all angles of her advance with her wand. "Where are you? I swear if you dare show your head this time I will blow you back to whatever hellhole spawned you." Reaching another bush she went to her knees in order to offer the smallest possible target and poked her head out again to check around.

Happosai on the other hand would beg to differ. He stealthily dropped behind his mumbling student and shuffled his feet. No reaction from Louise who was giggling to herself thinking about blown up perverted trolls and which spell would make the best explosion. Lighting his pipe with a quick flare of his Ki he stepped on a dry twig that broke with a loud crack. He was again ignored in favour of some rather detailed rambles about how many wolves she would feed his remains to after poisoning them to make certain that the slavering beasts would die a most painfull death as well.

Happosai frowned. He knew women were weak and innafectual creatures and that Louise was a coddled noblewoman but this was rediculous! He allowed her a whole hour of undisturbed sleep every day and he had even gone as far as allowing only the smaller wolves and wild hogs to go after her when his normal repertoir would include bears, lions and tigers. He had even allowed her to keep her clothes for budhas sake and even left her near streams that were not infested with piranhas or crocodiles! But unbeliavable as it seemed she was already exausted! This would not do. This would not do at all!

"I wonder how you survived so far girl. No sense of danger, a few days without sleep reduce you to this... Oh well, I guess I must do as I must do. You did ask for it after all." Happosai sighed as he took a towel he had scrounged for exactly this purpose and wraping it up snapped Louise at her bottom. " Pay attention girl! I could be an enemy and you would be dead now!"

Louise gave an unearthly scream of terror and clung to the nearest tree, zeroing on her tormentor, a rather big red mark on her bottom.

"Really girl" sighed Happosai taking a drag from his pipe "This is a discrace! Im going so easy on you yet you aren't even able to sense me and leave a few scrawny animals give you a hard time!" pausing melodramaticaly he brought his arm in his brow "Oh the discrace! The tragedy! To have such a weak little girl as a student! Truly how the mighty have fallen!" Genma eat your heart out!

Louise's answer was shot and to the point.

"DIE!"

BOOOMMMM!

The forest got yet another clearing and when the smoke cleared and debris stopped falling Happosai bounced of to the academy holding a gagged and bound Louise over his shoulder. "I must admit that you have gotten slightly faster at your casting though." He added as an afterthought.

"Um, Sensei you don't really have to attend my class you know. I'm sure you have much better things to do with your time don't you?" Louise asked Happosai who for some reason was adamant about escorting her to her classes after his hellish training has begun.

"Nonsense my girl. What kind of teacher would I be if I didn't check on my cute little student's progress?" Happosai chuckled walking beside his *Master* "You do remember what the punishment will be if you lose control of your spells dont you?" he asked sharply.

"Urk!" Louise hurried ahead "Off course I remember!" she gasped rather breathlessly. In the last few days she had shown a huge improvement to her control of the amount of power she put in her spells but she didn't dare slack off after the last incident that had her hanging from the Academy flagpole in her underwear.

Happosai shook his head. Really the girl behaved so silly some times. IT was a teachers duty to keep his students on their toes at all times. Only then was true progress possible at all!

Today's teacher was the balding man from the summoning ritual. He seemed like just another flighty, absentminded proffesor but Happosai had seen a lot in his long life and knew a fighter when he saw one. Whatever this Proffesor Colbert was now had the moves and bearing of a fighting man. He would be someone to keep an eye on at any case.

Happosai looked on with interest as the man started his class. He had a large metal box on a table with tubes protruding in random intervals. Several of the students gave it strange looks indicating that it was something new and also gave him and Louise a rather large bearth since she had the habbit of blasting anything and anyone that startled her and he was rather unpredictable to say the least.

After the whole Fouquet affair there were all sorts of rumours flying about as its bound to happen in a school ranging from the most ordinary to the most peculiar. Surprisingly Kirche and Tabitha gave a rather acurrate account of the whole incident taking care to highlight Louise's and her familiar's contribution at apprehending the thief , something Louise was very glad about.

She was much less appreciative when the redhead recounted in lurid detail the thiefs punishment. Several of Kirche's admirers collapsed with nosebleeds when they pictured the scene, the girls glared daggers at Happosai and off course new rumours were spawned about the depraved life and times of Louise the Zero. Strangely enough noone said anything about Tabitha. Maybe they simply overlooked the quiet bookworm or simply remembered the ease with which she could flash freeze someone with nary a thought.

Proffesor Colbert started his lesson and for once Happosai felt his interest piqued. Fire magic was after all the most destructive of the various disciplines and it was always good to know what to look for if it was to be used against you.

As it turned out the box on the table was a very rudimentary engine. It burned oil that in turned moved a series of pistons painted like students off course were not impressed.

"What's exactly the use of it Proffesor?" asked Kirche "We have magic for things like that after all so its useless isn't it?" Murmurs of agreement rose from the rest of the class along with the occasional sniker. Proffesor Colbert slumped down at the dismissal of his masterpiece.

"Not really there girlie." objected Happosai "We have had things like that in my homeland for the last 150 years or so. They were not much in the beggining but nowadays they are used for everything from moving iron ships thousands of tons from one side of the world to the other to powering flying machines." Snorts of derision and murmurs about senile old men filled the room but before he took offense and did something about it Proffesor Colbert all but teleported in front of him.

"Really mr Happosai? Your homeland had such wonderful devices?" begged the teacher a disturbing gleam in his eyes "Do you by any chance know how they are built? What materials are used? What kind of fuel?" with every question Professor Colbert leaned closer and closer to Happosai who looked on bemused.

Ignoring Louise's frantic gestures the Professor grabbed Happosai and turned to her " You must let me have him Miss Valliere! Think of all the wonderful thing we could built together! Science demand it!" hugging the old man to his chest the Proffesor gave her the dreaded Puppy Dog Eyes "please!"

"Sure..." mumbled a dazzed Louise eyeing her familiar with growing unease. He hadnt moved in all the time the Proffesor manhandled him.

"Ahem!"

Proffesor Colbert suddenly found himself on his back a few feet away from a rather iritated Happosai."Not that I dont appreciate the sentiment my boy but I don't swing that way." he let his eyes burn red and bestially cruel as he glared at the downed Proffesor "See that you forget that in the future. If you want to have a future."

Proffesor Colbert stiffened for a moment and his hand darted to his wand but recovered like a pro. "Ah off course mr Happosai.I apologise for my actions. Some times I forget myself." Dusting himself off the Proffesor turned to his class "Well now that that is over maybe someone would like to make the engine move?" still a bit out of sorts he glanced at Louise "Maybe you miss Valliere?"

All movement stilled in the room. Sure Louise was much less prone to uncontrolable explosions lately but old habbits die hard. Several students ducked slowly under their desks while Tabitha made her way to a nearby window.

Louise hesitated for a moment but spurred on by Happosai's glare stepped forward. "Off course Professor" she said and walked stiffly to the engine.

"Proffesor are you sure this is wise?" jumped in Kirche desperate to avoid a misscast by Louise "Valliere must still be tired after the whole Fouquet deal after all . Surely you dont want to put much strain in her do you?"

Colbert was confused for a second and then remembered just what Louise was famous for. "Now that you mention it miss Zerbst you are right! I certainly dont want to put such a strain on miss Valliere! If you could go back to your sit mis Valliere?"

Louise grit her teeth at this. So they still thought that she was useless! She would show them all."I'm fine sir" she gritted out and whiped out her to the machine she said "Ignite" softly while several students dived for cover.

To almost everyones surprise the resulting explosion was tiny but since it lacked flame it failed to ignite the oil. On the other hand the room was still intact something decidedly unusual as an aftermath of on of her spells.

"It didn't blow up?" Kirche asked surprised at the lack of big boom.

"Uh...A nice try miss Valliere." Ventured Proffesor Colbert aproaching her cautiously. Gently taking her by the hand he escorted her back to her seat."Now let the rest of your costudents have a try huh?" he said eager to get her away from his precious engine.

"A nice try girl." murmured Happosai and Louise shifted uncomfortably at her seat. "I had plenty of motivation" she replied dryly earning a chuckle by her nemesis.

The rest of the morning passed quietly in the most part, with Louise struggling through her classes under the watchful eye of her tormentor...Er sensei! Yes thats the word sensei! enduring the surprised glances of her fellow students as she failed time after time to transform the class in to a crater when casting a spell. Truly it did sting her pride a little to still be regarded with so much misstrust but she guessed that the habbits of so many years couldn't be overcome overnight.

She and Happosai were on their way back to the dormitory tower when the most unlikely person intercepted them boldly stepping in their path.

"Uh, can I help you Guiche?" Louise asked dubiously. She hadn't had much contact with the blond fop since the duel and its humiliating ending and he had gone out of his way to avoid her as well since Happosai made it a point to glare at him every time their paths crossed.

"Its not you I wish to talk to Valliere" he declared possing pompously with his rose wand . With a dramatic flutter of his cloak he pointed to Happosai. "Its with your familiar I wish to have a word."

"Indeed?" Asked Happosai puffing away at his pipe. "And what is there that you posibly have to say to me boy?" Leering at the blonde noble Happosai added "I though we said all we had to say the other day."

Guiche faltered a bit but stepped in front of Happosai and fell on his knees. " Indeed Master Happosai! I Guiche de Gramond ask of you to teach me your art!"

Happosai blinked in surprise while Louise gapped at the blond. He couldn't be serious right? "Are you insane" she asked "do you even know what you ask?" Surely he was a disgusting two-timing moron but even he didn't deserve that fate!

"Don't listen to her Master Happosai" Guiche started digging his grave. " The day I fought you opened my eyes to so many new posibilities! To have the power to disable a man with just a touch! Surely it is a persuit worthy of a noble! If you can train the useless Louise the Zero surely you would do wonders with a worthy student such as me!"

A vein bulged on Louise's forehead. Ubheading of his nearing doom Guiche pressed on.

"If that pathetic excuse of a mage can benefit from your tutolage then I shudder to think of the hights I can reach!"

Uh Oh. Make that a double bulge.

"And all the other things you could show me! The fiery Kirche speaks of how you disabled the dreaded thief Fouquet and reduced her to a puddle of pleasure!"

Poor boy. His tongue didn't have much contact with whatever passed for a mind did it?

With a final flourish of his rose Guiche looked hopefully at Happosai "So what do you say Master Happosai will you take me as your student?"

Louise was at the verge of an epic meltdown when she caught sight of her familiar. Happosai's face was split with the most evil smile she had ever seen in her young life. She finally relaxed and decided that Guiche indeed deserved whatever fate had in store for him. After all who was she to stop a fellow student from attaining his potential?

"Why certainly my boy" chuckled Happosai and turned away "You are in luck! I will give you a test to see if you are worthy immediately!"

Guiche full of self important joy followed him. " Fear not Master Happosai I will pass any test put in my path!"

"Um master Happosai what are we doing here?" inquired Guiche. They were at the back of the dormitory tower only the towers wall in front of them while all other sides were choked with trees and rolling grassland. What would his test be? A test of endurance? Of combat? Whatever it was he would pass it!

"Just stand there my boy" Happosai walked to the wall and eyed it critically. "This will only take a moment." Taking out his pipe he tapped the wall which dissintegrated revealing that on the other side were the female students baths and at the moment were filled with naked and half naked witches.

Happosai posed dramatically while enjoying the view. "Pretty Ladies! You make this old mans heart good to see tou like this! Its a happy day to see so many pretty ladies wearing so little"

"Its the little pervert!"

"Kyaaaah! kill it ! kill it!"

Various magical attack were launched all of them dodged or redirected with minimal effort.

Happosai savoured the abandance of battle aura as he landed on a blonds perky breasts and proceeded to fodle them most thoroughly.

Shrieks of terror and outrage echoed through the bath as he jumped from bountiful bussom to perky rear untill he came up to a familiar readhead.

Kirche gasped as the horrifying little troll landed on her chest and proceeded to foddle and steal her underwear in the procces.

"YOU DARE!"

Happosai avoided an attempt to fry him and slithered to her bottom stealing her panties as well. Yet another set for his collection!

"Oh come to poppa!" he crowed jumping to the front again and burrowing at his favourite spot in this world "So big yet so firm! Im in heaven!"

Kirche was beside herself with fury but recognising the futility of her efforts she simply asked "why are you doing this?" It was wonderful! She was so angry yet her mind was so clear!

"This is a test of course my dear!" Happosai answered as he burrowed deeper in to her cleavage.

"And why are you testing me?" Kirche calmly asked drawing the attention of every woman in the vicinity.

"You? Im not testing you my dear." Happosai flicked a nipple at Guiches direction "Im testing blondie over there. He is my new student you see."

Every eye turned to Guiche's horrorstricken face still standing frozen outside the breach.

"GUICHE!"

"Yes Guiche. My beloved student. And he has seen you all butt naked!" with that Happosai flashed away and vanished faster than anyone could track.

Terrorstricken Guiche barely managed to move away as the first spells started howling after him. Desperately he called up his golems to act as meatshield as he sped away with every single witch in the academy in hot persuit.

Happosai chuckled from the top of the Dormitory tower as he followed his progress. If the boy survived he would see to start his training formally.

Some time later in her room Louise was rather ambivalent about her familiar. On one hand he had just molested every witch in the academy and the fallout would not be pretty. On the other hand he had just sent yet another one of those who mocked her running for the hills. It was sweet in a twisted and depraved sort of way but did he have to go out of his way to aggravate everyone in the vicinity?

Just as she was gathering up steam to berate him he decided to throw her a curveball.

"Oh yes by the way I found out why you can't cast normal magic my girl" Happosai stated like it was the most casual thing in the world. Taking a long drag from his pipe he chackled at the sight of Louise freezing up. mouth open for a few moments.

"WHAT?" Louise shrieked and seemingly teleported in front of him. "What? How? I have been searching all this time for the tiniest clue and you tell me you know what's wrong?" brandishing her wand threateningly she added " You better not lie to me familiar. Because if you do I will blast you all the way to the holy land!"

Happosai sighed melodramatically. "Oh the tragedy of it all! Here I am, her humble and devoted teacher , going out of my way to find a way to fix her problems and my ungrateful student threatens me with violence! Oh the humanity!" Happosai posed for effect "Truly the path of the teacher is treacherous in the extreme!"

"Poor partner... You truly are a great man to carry so many burdens..." Derflinger piped in from his corner.

"Happosai..." Louise growled as sparks started to gather around her his head Happosai decided to stop tormenting her just this once. Truly the girl had no patience at all. "Relax girl. Do you remember the wierd name the delectable miss Longueville called me when she tried to off us all?"

Lowering her wand Louise's forehead furrowed at concetration. "Yes... She called you Ganl.. no Gandalfr wasn't it? So what of it?"

"Well as it turns out that is the name of this here rune." Happosai pointed at his hand. "I asked around a bit and finally the headmaster had the answer. Apparently Gandalfr was the name of one of the familiars of this Brimir character you people keep going on and on about."

Louise was flabbergasted " One of the Founders familiars? How can that be? And what does it do any way?" she asked unwilling to believe what he was saying.

"It looks like whoever has this rune is able to yield any weapon with the skill of a master" Happosai continued " that is why I keep getting magic boosts when I wield Derflinger there" he pointed to the sword.

"Oh yes! Now I remember! I was yielded by Gandalfr a long time ago!" Exclaimed Derflinger. "No wonder this situation seemed so familiar!"

" So wait." Louise sat heavily on her bed "If you are the Gandalfr then that means that my element..."

"Exactly girl. Your element is the void." Happosai finished for her "There is no doubt about it."

"But but there hasn't been a yielder of the void element for the last 6000 years! There are no spells of spellbooks that detail the founders spells." Louise despaired "Void is well and good IF what you say is true. How am I supposed to utilise it though?"

"Well more research I guess for you girl." Happosai noted mercilessly " If this Brimir guy was so famous there must be books that at least describe the effects of his spells. You will just have to find them."

"But.." Louise was about to continue when a soft knock at the door interrupted them.

Louise swiftly rose and opened the door revealing a familiar figure."Princess Henrietta?" she exclaimed and immediatly turned and on Happosai brandishing her wand. "Don't you dare molest the Princess familiar! Im warning you!" she threatened ominously.

"Wouldn't dream of it my dear." Happosai answered with a mischievious glint in his eyes "I have already had my fill of pretty ladies for today" He winked at the princess that shuddered.

Princess Henrietta stepped in to the room and claimed a spare chair and sat heavily.

"Princess its always a honour to have you here but I did not expect you." Louise fretted "Why are you here?"

"I will get straight to the point my dear friend." stated the princess " I need your services for a crucial mission"

"Off course your highness! Anything I can do for you I will do without hesitation!" Louise exclaimed ignoring Happosai's glare. Happosai for his part shook his head in disgust. No matter what he did it seemed that even the slightest shred of wisdom was simply impossible to penetrate his students thick skull. Here she was jumping again head first in some unknown situation without care in the world.

"If its not much trouble I would like a bit more of a backround about this mysterious mission." Happosai asked "Your Highness." He added after he saw the glare sent his way by his student.

"Well its pretty simple mr Happosai." started the princess. " The country of Albion has fallen in dire straights. A revolution has erupted against the royal family and it looks like the rebels will be victorious in this straggle. The rebels a seeking to overthrow all the royal families of the surrounding nations so when Albion falls, Tristain will probably be their next target." The princess paused to catch her breath and continued. " In order to safeguard my country my hand was offered in marriage to the Emperor of Germania. With his support we will be able to handle whatever the rebels throw our way but there is a complication."

"What kind of complication you Highness?" Louise asked "It seems pretty straightforward to me."

"Well as it happens I have had a relationship these last few years with the crown prince of Albion." Ignoring Louise's scandalised gasp the princess forged on. "The prince holds certain letters of mine that if they fall to the hands of the rebels they could be used to undermine my upcoming marriage. There are certain fanctions both in Tristain and in Germania that would leap at the chance to ruin the marriage so the letters must be retrieved as soon as possible." She raised her eyes at Louise " That is where you come in my friend. Will you go to Albion on my behalf and retrieve those letters?"

"Off course your Highness! Consider it done!" Louise leaned forward and hugged the princess "Nothing will stand in my way."

Happosai simply shook his head ignoring for once the two young women. A treck through a country in the process of tearing itself to pieces to reach a besieged position and retrieve valuable documents. Well Louise had to get her feet wet at some point and this seemed as good a chance as any.


End file.
